First World Lesbian

Birkin like birkenstock?

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Lord. Can't make a simple run to Whole Foods without running into an ex, or three.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Oh god, one of my follow suggestions is "Black & Decker".

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

I've always wanted to use a fruit rollup as a dental dam. #nom

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Mom Face. You're giving me the Mom Face.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

You're acting like your mother again.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

#FF @chriscolfer @clementinesford @ChrisCQuinn @chelywright @CubbyHoleBar @ddlovejoy @DoriaBiddle @DailyJill @dinahshore @DykeMarchTO

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

#FF @afterellen @AFER @AudraEqualityMc @BitchMedia @Babeland_NYC @bitchylibrarian @bostonturgy @bouska @BUTCHESnBABIES @ButchNDaKitchen

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

I... I have a confession. I don't actually like Kashi.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

My Tevas aren't the only things I strap on.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

#FF potential sperm donors: @andersoncooper @craigbrauner @chriscolfer @davidcarl @HarveyFierstein @jessetyler @matthewjmeier @ActuallyNPH

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

#FF @harto ... Even if my GF admits that she'd leave me for you.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

#FF @maddow @afterellen @BitchMedia @ @NOH8Campaign @TheAdvocateMag @SheWired @ @whitegrlproblem @villagevoice @outmagazine @HRC @NCLRights

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

“@UnPCFridays: Do all lesbians speak German, @firstworldlez?” Only when we're strudling our schlitterbahn.

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Your mother still introduces us as "gal pals."

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Your mother still introduces us as "roommates."

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Your mother still introduces us as "besties."

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Can't we just stay in and Google pictures of terriers?

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

2-for-1 polar fleeces at Eddie Bauer. One for the GF and one for me. #WIN

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Those middle school rugby photos. #lezprob

[First World Lesbian @firstworldlez]

Those middle school volleyball photos. #lezprob