The Fishwrapper

The World's Finest News Source.

HQ at UW.

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Bring us your bored, your frustrated, your huddled masses, yearning to read funny stuff.
Join us: [email protected]

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SAVE THE FISHWRAPPER !!! 06/08 - 8 PM

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😩Hotties😍 come to The Fishwrapper's first meeting of fall quarter! (Only ugly rats miss it! 🐀)

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Come and get to know the Fishwrapper this Thursday at our exhilarating Dawg Daze event!

image creds: Flickr & Pixabay
graphic by the very talented Katrina Filer

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image creds : pixabay and wikimedia commons!

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

Out now! Reading our Fall 2020 issue it the best way to end your quarter! Link in bio!

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access to preview Velvet Q’s virtual Halloween show, featuring a meet and greet with the band! Tickets start at $3, (but we’ll take more if you’re feeling generous)! Proof of purchase is required before you can get in on the gorey goodness! Send $$$ to our venmo @ylimevaughan!

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

Still finalizing Halloween plans? Looking for something horrifyingly fun from the safety of your own home? Wishing you could attend a kickass creepy concert? Well then you’re in for a terrifying treat! This Thursday at 8 PM the Fishwrapper and Velvet Q are offering you exclusive

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

check it out bitches. dropping tomorrow.

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

Come one, come all— The Fishwrapper’s fifth print edition is AVAILABLE NOW! Let us take you back to a simpler time when Mike Bloomberg dominating the press with his presidential campaign was your top worry. Check it out at the link in our bio!

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The key fob is the white picket fence of the 21st century.

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

"Receiving gifts" is the Nickelback of love languages.

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

All future Dem "debates" will air Mondays 11/10c on MTV, right after The Jersey Shore #DemDebate

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

Report: Local woman spends rare, sunny Seattle day trying to decide how to make the most of such a rare, sunny Seattle day

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Report: Google searches for assless chaps spike after JLo Superbowl performance

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Women can do anything. Tax fraud, drums, anything. #TheFutureIsFemale #ShakiraBowl

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Watching the big game

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TIRED: Fosters students getting dates on @hinge

WIRED: English majors getting dates on @goodreads

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

REPORT: New roommate learns the most important rule of the house:
Don’t even fucking think about touching Jeffrey’s Himalayan pink salt.

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

BREAKING: No women nominated for Best Actress #oscars2020

[The Fishwrapper @fishwrappernews]

Pitch: A 2019 update on “The Myth of Sisyphus” but instead of a man pushing a boulder it’s a college student continually rewatching “Friends”