Alison Roth

Writer, #parkrun addict, cat lady, mom. This is my personal account - standard disclaimers apply.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@behindyourback My dad once called me in the middle of a meeting to inform me that @BrunoMars was a quarter Jewish.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

Engineering standards affect everything around us, from food and medicine to cars and airplanes. https://t.co/5LTdlXmC2h

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

4 things I’ve learned after 4 years #alcoholfree

-it doesn’t really get easier
-life’s challenges keep coming
-I still need to find a better way to deal with anxiety
-knowing I’ll never have a hangover again is priceless.

(Pic from 2019)

#sober

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

Thanks to The RRomp online magazine for publishing my very personal essay… I mean, sure, why not just put it all out there. 🙈

https://t.co/aBXGcUIsVA

[Dividend Hero @HeroDividend]

Meal prep is done✅

This pizza was $10.99 and it made meals for 8 days

That comes out to $1.38 per meal

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

If anyone is watching the @SmartLess documentary on @StreamOnMax - my husband and I were at that ill-fated second show in Boston. Watching its awfulness get the spotlight on HBO is redemption for that terrible event! #smartlesslive

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

"Who is that creep wearing pajamas at 3 pm and walking slowly through my front yard?" I demand as I look at footage from my @ring camera.

Well, turns out it's me. Every time.

[Keeks 🦋 @DietCoke_Esq]

How sales/marketing sees legal’s “no”

[Adam Karpiak @Adam_Karpiak]

Finally, a realistic job posting

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@0liviajulianna I graduated HS in '98, and most of my writing assignments (in HS & college) had page counts. I think most people had access to computers and printers either at home or in the school lab. I work in marketing & still struggle to get a handle on word counts.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@DibblyFresh Amazing investigative photojournalism! :)

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

OMG - this is literally my dream job - except that I’m not remotely qualified and I love my current job. I hope you find someone amazing, @LibraryJournal!

[Library Journal @LibraryJournal]

We are seeking a highly qualified individual to serve as Editor-in-Chief. The EIC will be a working editor and writer, managing the operational priorities of the LJ editorial team & lead internal editorial strategy. https://t.co/sPhZ8IObxF

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

Ranjeev is not only my state rep but also my neighbor. Our neighborhood is full of @michiganstateu alumni and parents whose kids are currently students. This one hits very close to home - literally. #fuckthoughtsandprayers #gunskillpeople

[Ranjeev Puri @RanjeevPuri]

Today, we begin to collectively heal from the horrific events which transpired, tomorrow we work.

My official statement regarding the Michigan State University shooting is below:

Fuck your thoughts and prayers.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

…and next week I’m doing my first-ever figure-skating competition. It involves a sparkly leotard and about 2 mins of a @QueenWillRock song.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

Today I took my first-ever ice-skating lesson, and yes, I am 42 years old. I usually only like doing things I'm good at, and this was certainly an exception - but it was ridiculously fun and I only fell twice. Can't wait for next week! #watchoutbeijing #winterolympics2022

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@johnpavlovitz From Leaving the Table by Leonard Cohen: “We're spending the treasure / That love cannot afford / I know you can feel it / The sweetness restored”

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@DibblyFresh I don’t know that song - but I’m here for the BSC reference!

[Abigail Higgins @abbyhiggins]

It finally happened: someone asked me where the library was in Spanish. I’ve been training for this since high school.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@parkrun Way to go Martin!

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@shoesonplease Twitter isn’t real life though. Everyone rants about politics and social issues on social media… yet it rarely comes up in real convos. I moved out of AA 5 yrs ago to a more neutral city and I do miss it, but the neighborhood talks aren’t much different!

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

The guy in front of me at Meijer has a fifth of @CrownRoyal and three rotisserie chickens in his cart. That’s it… that’s the cart. I feel like there’s more to this story.

[Alison Roth @five_speeed]

@TreeTownSound @CarterAltruda Happy birthday!