Kirsten Delay

es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@AmeriGas we have been without propane for over a week in subfreezing temperatures. My husband has had to stay at home in case your people show up but also to keep the house from freezing. What gives?

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

Every time I brought up racist, transphobic, and otherwise bigoted words and actions of my classmates to my faculty, they asked, "what do you think we should do about it?" Or even better, "what are you going to do about it?" Excuse me, I'm paying you. YOU figure it the fuck out.

[Claire McCaskill @clairecmc]

It’s Missouri you stone cold idiot.

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

This is very important to me

[Wendy’s @Wendys]

Y’all keep asking, so here’s your chance.
The people in charge say if you guys can get our tweet (this one right here) to 2 Million likes, they will bring SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS BACK.
Let’s freakin’ do this!

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@baileaves Just stick a mucinex drip into your veins, it’s fine

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

I now have a lawyer on retainer, which makes me feel v grown up.

[Lawrence Police @LawrenceKS_PD]

Attention followers, especially followers around age 21. This weird fried chicken flavor is for fireplaces. Please don’t try to smoke this. We know Juul flavors can get confusing. #PublicSafety

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@crissyimery @ArianaGrande Girl you already are

[Jennifer Gunter @DrJenGunter]

We need to care more about the right of a woman murdered by a gun to not be murdered than the right of a perpetrator of domestive violence to own a gun

[manwhohasitall @manwhohasitall]

TODAY'S DEBATE: Are men too biased and irrational to understand science?

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@4pt0schools #voyager4pt0 education

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@4pt0schools #voyager4pt0 "communication"

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@4pt0schools #voyager4pt0

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

Glad I got on a bus at 3:30 am to get on a plane at 5:40 am only for the plane to sit on the runway for an hour #grumpytweet

[First Lady- Archived @FLOTUS44]

"Our mental health is just as vital as our physical health, so it’s time we start treating it that way" —The First Lady #ChangeMentalHealth

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

@TrapsAndDelts 🐻🔫 what now

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

Well I did tell my kids I'd make the test tomorrow super difficult if the Chiefs lost so...

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

I'm incredibly sore from cleaning yesterday which means my athleticism must be at an all time low #GettingOld

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

The person in front of me has a personalized plate that says RD HEAD which I can only assume means "road head"

[Kirsten Delay @fiveminutedelay]

NO