The Florida Hitman

Stats nerd and big sports guy | Tweet about baseball, & football | Better #FantasyFootball Commissioner than Mike Trout

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

Fair punishment for the teams playing in the toilet bowl or no?
#fantasyfootball #nfl

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@shaunvlog_ Pro move is getting ranch and buffalo sauce!

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@Home_of_Fight @ufc How about do one for the Marine Corps birthday? It could literally be set up in an old bar and filmed on an iPhone 6. Probably would only cost about $500.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@PaulLieberstein it’s time to get back to work on “The Farm”. The world needs Dwight Schrute now more than ever.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@Matt_Pinner L9

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@ThrillaRilla369 Math is still hard though

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@NoSwayze Well, he’s a Super Humman…

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@MoMohler

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

I got really excited until I found out all these WW3 tweets aren't about Wayne's World 3.

[Joby Aviation @jobyaviation]

Today is a massive day for Joby.

Alongside our partner @Uber, we’ve officially wrapped a historic product and flight demonstration in Dubai, revealing a first look at the Uber Air experience.

We’re showing the world how seamless, ground-to-air travel will be bookable with a single tap.

Later today in Santa Cruz, we’re thrilled to host our Q4 and Full Year 2025 Earnings Call at 5 PM ET and provide an update on our 2026 progress.

Stay tuned: afterward, we’ll be releasing a behind-the-scenes look at a full-circle moment for Joby as we flew from Marina to our original HQ in Bonny Doon—bringing our aircraft home as we prepare for eIPP demonstrations across the country.

From a dream in the Santa Cruz mountains to one-tap booking in Dubai to flights across the US later this year, we’re enjoying every mile of this journey.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@UrinatingTree Hang a framed picture in every American classroom.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

I formally announce that Florida surrenders to the cold weather attacks by Greenland.

We agree to now be under Greenland’s laws and protection in exchange for our normal weather.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@45PedroMartinez I’m throwing myself out of the game and calling Pedro from the bullpen.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@KevinMassare Change the rules to automatically spot Josh Allen a 2 TD lead in OT!

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@drakemayeloverr

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

This is the NFL equivalent of the John Cena “can’t see me” joke.

[MLFootball @MLFootball]

SHOULD THE DENVER #BRONCOS SIGNED COLIN KAEPERNICK AS THEIR QUARTERBACK FOR THE AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME…?

Kaepernick continues to train on a daily basis and has been advocating to get an #NFL job for eight seasons now.

Colin is 38 years old and currently a civil rights activist.

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@MLFootball He also gave the ball to the Broncos…. A lot

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

@gothburz Stop giving away my strategy like that. What if my PM sees this?!?

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

To the @NFL teams seeking to hire new coaches or front office personnel,

I am a long time fantasy football manger. I have won multiple championships and have only missed the playoffs once in the last 10 years.

My DMs are open to offers from the @MiamiDolphins @Giants @Ravens

[The Florida Hitman @Fl_hitman]

.@Buccaneers so y’all hiring?