Flaming8Ball

Toddler Wrangler. Keeper of the bins. Tired.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am on a bus.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

(That last tweet was sponsored by P&O’s £137 WiFi. Special place in hell etc).

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am on a cruise. The genital vibration caused by the engines almost convinced me that I’d suddenly developed Parkinson’s. Ho hum.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@mertynabbot Not to bad thank you, Dave. You good?

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

Is this thing still on?

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@humpygokart You could always stay at home and drink some fermented urine?

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

One day, we will look back at this era of “Tap rooms” and “Craft ales” in the same way as we now look back at Golliwogs and Thalidomide.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am in the Harp. I am surrounded by the plain cloths devision of the Chelsea Pensioners. Send Voltarol.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am in the Hoptimist. It’s all outdoor apparel and dogs. £6 for a pint of Zoflora. Ace.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@daveclandestine I’m a fan of a night out in Towyn. It’s the spiritual home of the turn.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am on a bus. £6.50 for 3.5 miles and all at 20mph. Cymru am byth.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@daveclandestine I would like that, David.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@daveclandestine Let me assure you, David; there is nothing good about this scenario. (I hope you’re well, btw)

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am in the George & Dragon, like it’s 2015. Unlike 2015, they have a DJ; I am bereft.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@daveclandestine There is a DJ (not a turn) in the George & Dragon. God help us all.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

@ChiefScrobbler @RateMySausage @smithsloughton @mertynabbot It’s a Solid 10/10 for me !

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

I am on a bus.

[Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews]

There's not being a fan of the Royals (an understandable position), then there's actively celebrating the death of an elderly woman. The second one makes you a very unsavoury person. She was an icon. Undeniably. And as someone who isn’t a royalist, I for one will mourn her loss.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

Top Tip.

Parents, save money on expensive soft play parties by simply arranging for a large house spider to run across a floor; voila, 25 children instantly enthralled.

[Flaming8Ball @flaming8thball]

Day 176.

I am at another 4yo’s birthday party: I have now been to every 4yo’s birthday party in the uk. This one has hot dogs. This is a first.