Flaming Balrog

I am so attuned with nature that I have begun hibernating, awakening periodically to gorge on cheese.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@basshero These are the same people who think calling Biden “Brandon” is an awesome burn. They are morons.

[Lou Malnati Hottie @basshero]

I'm so tired.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@basshero Take all of this happiness, and channel it into at least 3 more Junia albums. 3, bare minimum. And congrats! #thatsmybasshero

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk @the_transit_guy @RIPTA_RI Yea man, as a person who loves authentic Mexican food, getting to a Chipotle is murder without a car in Chicago.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@joelmchale Filling it with world juice.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk Finger locked goooooood

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

Lucas is pretending he is Black Panther, he attacked Hayden and said “I protect Leia with my black power.”

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk Idiots like him don’t understand what defunding the police entails. Prevention is always better than intimidation. Also, I would never take someone’s ape money away.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

My 2 year old pointed at the sky and said “Look, birds!” And my 5 year old yelled “Hey birds! Don’t poop here!”

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@BustaHimes They should film them back to back...and then release them one after the other...and then make the Community movie #andamovie

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@basshero I miss my bean burrito especial, and cheesy Gordita crunch, and nacho cheese chalupa. And of course, he chili cheese burrito. Like Prometheus bequeathing fire, so too did TB bestow upon us garbage food, and we ate it with joyful tears. Near a toilet.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk I think it’s super ironic, the building owners will always say something like “I didn’t do anything wrong, why did this happen” and that’s the same question BLM is asking. They should be super sympathetic, though still pissed about their store

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk Uh huh, revisionist history over here. But I’m gonna solve a problem. You want the pepperonis but the store doesn’t have it. What other playfully spicy sausage could a man of your DEEEEEEEEEEEP Hispanic roots enjoy? CHORIZO PIZZA! Don’t be a socialist, eat it.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

Disney bought FOX, so when the heck is the Goosebumps tv show coming to Disney+? Gotta be before October. #Disney #Goosebumps #scaresomekids

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

I feel dumber knowing that I’m an American and he is our president.

[Axios @axios]

.@jonathanvswan: “Oh, you’re doing death as a proportion of cases. I’m talking about death as a proportion of population. That’s where the U.S. is really bad. Much worse than South Korea, Germany, etc.”

@realdonaldtrump: “You can’t do that.”

Swan: “Why can’t I do that?”

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk It’s boring because there’s no big crises. They aren’t losing any kids, they aren’t losing the house. Everyone is super chill about going to prison. But Kevin is still awesome.

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@netoduk I had no idea Family Matters took place in Chicago. Guess I should rewatch every episode...to learn...stuff...

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

@basshero So her message is “Not wearing a mask killed my daughter. I’m proud of the government for letting our ignorance kill our daughter. Stupid hashtag, mic drop into a turd.”

[Flaming Balrog @flamingbalrog]

Listening to the Scrubs podcast and @donald_faison is killing me@talking about Peppa Pig. Lucas goes back every few months and I suffer through it.