Nicholas Jay

drunk tweets only

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

It’s 2026. We don’t deal with bullshit.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Apologies to Philly for taking the oxygen out of the air each time I suck it in to get this suit buttoned tonight.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

@UberEats you can’t tell me everything is ok and then continue to tell me the delivery time is going up!

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

How do I get fake news off of my Facebook. Go on once a week…bullshit

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Nothing pisses me off more than Ubers saying they’re here before they are there. Bitch I’m waiting outside for you. You are not here.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Adults dressing up for Halloween are weird

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Done with uber drivers complaining about the rates they get. You don’t like it, stop. You’re making more than you should to drive me 8 minutes.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Fuck Ben Simmons. Dudes a bitch.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

I’ve got @Uber telling me I saved $39 the past 3 days. Show me how!

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

I can’t tell if I’m behind or everyone is just getting ahead of Christmas shopping this year, but I have been asked for my Christmas list earlier than I remember! #getaheadorfallbehind

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Since @ChipotleTweets no longer provides cups for water, I took my business to @qdoba for lunch today. Great service and amazing flavors!

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

@RyanHagerty16 A shot below the belt before the end of the work day was unnecessary!

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

America got soft as soon as we stopped drinking regular milk. Oats and almonds can gtfo.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

In my dream last night I perfected the somersault. And yes I had to google how to spell that.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Came to the conclusion I lost my fastball 3ish years ago

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Do y’all get a little horned up in the airport or is it just me?

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

The nerve on the person to ask if I wanted to take 26 pounds out of my checked bag…

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

So glad I put some coin on this shootout of a game this evening. Raiders moneyline tho

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

No idea what this is referring to.

[Nicholas Jay @flatstanley40]

Girlfriends, I hate they get a bad rap, but they aren’t bad. Just saved 4 units!