Mikey Fletcher

Catastrophe Specialist God Bless the USA!!

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@HaterReport Absolute disrespect

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@TrumpsHurricane Then a minister of the gospel, you are not…

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@AntiWokeMemes Empty

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@timony001 0

[Lou Stagner (Golf Stat Pro) @LouStagner]

HANDICAP CHAIR: Steady, friends. Tonight we sail toward fairness… toward a nation where any two golfers can wager two dollars with mathematical dignity.

GOLFER: Sir, how will we know our dignity?

HANDICAP CHAIR: By a number. We shall call it a Handicap Index. The average of your best eight of the last twenty scores.

GOLFER: Why eight?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Because nine is chaos and seven is anarchy.

GOLFER: And if I’ve posted fewer than twenty scores?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Then a lookup table chooses for you. Sometimes it is two. Sometimes it is three. Never ask why.

GOLFER: How is the Handicap Index calculated, sir?

HANDICAP CHAIR: With a Score Differential. You take your adjusted gross, subtract the Course Rating, subtract the PCC, multiply by 113, and divide by Slope.

GOLFER: Why 113?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Nobody knows.

GOLFER: The “PCC,” sir?

HANDICAP CHAIR: The Playing Conditions Calculation. Each night, statisticians decide if your differential should be adjusted.

GOLFER: Will the PCC make sense to golfers, Sir?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Not a chance.

GOLFER: Suppose I make a nine on a par-4, must I post the full score?

HANDICAP CHAIR: No! For posting, the maximum is Net Double Bogey: Par + 2 + the strokes you receive on that hole.

GOLFER: What if my partner conceded my putt in match play?

HANDICAP CHAIR: You record your most likely score... what you would have nobly holed, unless it exceeds Net Double Bogey, in which case it did not happen. Mathematics insists.

GOLFER: And if I only play nine holes today?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Then the system shall summon your expected self to finish the back nine. Your expected self is very steady. He always shoots net par on the back.

GOLFER: How do I turn my Index into the strokes I actually get on the course?

HANDICAP CHAIR: The Course Handicap of course! Which is Handicap Index × (Slope/113) + (Course Rating - Par).

GOLFER: …and then that’s what I play off?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Perhaps. In singles stroke play, you shall receive 95%. In four-ball, 85%. In alternate shot, your souls shall be combined and 50% shall be bestowed. In greensomes, 60% of the lower + 40% of the higher. A recipe handed down by the ancients.

GOLFER: Why these percentages?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Because we are free men.

GOLFER: And if I start slumping?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Fear not. The soft cap slows any rise more than 3.0 above your Low HI. Should you plunge further, the hard cap stops the bleeding at +5.0. Your pride will go no higher.

GOLFER: And if I suddenly shoot seven better than my Index?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Then the Exceptional Score Reduction smites your record by 1 shot (or 2 shots if ten better). This is mercy disguised as punishment.

GOLFER: How often will I actually play to my number?

HANDICAP CHAIR: About one day in five. The other four you shall share excuses after the round.

GOLFER: One last thing, sir. If I play from different tees than my opponent?

HANDICAP CHAIR: Add the difference in par to the higher par tee and carry on. If you forget, simply argue on the 17th tee like our forefathers.

GOLFER: I confess, I’m confused sir.

HANDICAP CHAIR: Do not fear confusion. Embrace it. For tonight we create a world where a friend asks, “What’d you shoot?” and you reply, “I posted 87, net 74, PCC +2, CH 11, PH 10 at 95%, capped, no ESR”

[Wall Street Apes @WallStreetApes]

Filmed TODAY: This is what Chimney Rock, North Carolina looks like after Hurricane Helene

Since Hurricane Helene hit, Joe Biden has announced:

- $1 billion to Africa to rebuild homes destroyed by natural disasters
- $988 million to Ukraine
- An estimated $600 million to Syria

FEMA Administrator said “no money” to rebuild devastated areas of Hurricane Helene victims here in America

[A Man Of Memes @RickyDoggin]

The Truth About J6

[Lynette Coldebella @Lynette42040638]

@iFightForKids Yep. And I'd do it again you uniformed crazy train riden lib tard.

[Dissident Media @DissidentMedia]

We love you guys so much that we made another one. Liberal tears; the unraveling.

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@iFightForKids 😂

[Matt Couch @RealMattCouch]

Alexa: Who is the President of the United States

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

The View is melting down 😂

[Rob Schneider 🇺🇸 @RobSchneider]

The fact this assault was not cause for immediate ejection by the referee means the @WNBA needs to fire this referee, change league rules and fine this player for this flagrant foul.

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

Trump just posted this🤣

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Why not America?

Those who oppose voter ID are doing so to commit fraud.

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@RedWingShoes get @dpshow some proper work boots!!

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@600Breezy @gummyonsolana @IGGYAZALEA Pump it up @metamasksupport

[Mikey Fletcher @fletchermikey1]

@moneyglittchsol @moneyglitchsolx Pump it hard @metamasksupport

[MONEY GLITCH @moneyglittchsol]

@moneyglitchsolx 2/ We have also decided to launch the registration for the $GLITCH airdrop! 🪂

Only those who register in the next 6 hours will be included. Don't miss out!

Limited amount of entries, register now:
👉 https://t.co/eE7At4ahiA

[MONEY GLITCH @moneyglittchsol]

@moneyglitchsolx 2/ We have also decided to launch the registration for the $GLITCH distribution 🪂

Only those who register in the next 12 hours will be included. Don't miss out!

Limited amount of entries, register now:
👉 https://t.co/eE7At4ahiA