Flickertail Times

North Dakota's Premier Source of Fake News | North Dakota Satire | Home of "State of the State Bingo" | Featured on Valley News Live, MSN | 🇺🇸

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@DistantAlways Exactly! 😂

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Wasn't the America 250 birthday supposed to have world fair like exhibits/celebrations, massive concerts and just a year of partying? At this rate, the North Dakota State Fair has a better grandstand lineup than the America 250th. 🤣

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@bmreadel What if they put Menards... in the mall. 🤯

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Imagine the money Menards would make if they had a small coffee and doughnut stand in each store with a few tables/chairs. No fancy coffee. Straight black for .50 cents.

Every contractor would flock there each morning like a moth to a candle.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

If only North Dakota had some sort of connection to a high ranking cabinet official who oversees the national parks...

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@LanceSelzler 😂😂😂

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

The Costco food court, but with a breakfast sandwich until noon.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@ZierMike What’s hilarious though is how true this is. I had family that ran a car dealership and old guys would show up to drink their coffee and sit and watch people buy cars all day while complaining about the cost of everything.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@ZierMike Don’t deny me of my dream! “Menards Contractor Cafe” 😂😂😂

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

What.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Today, we remember a legend.

On this day in history, Harambe would have celebrated another birthday. An icon that became part of internet history, American culture, and an entire generation’s timeline.

Tomorrow marks 10 years since we lost him. Ten years since the moment the world stopped scrolling and collectively mourned something bigger than a meme.

He became a symbol of loyalty, strength, chaos, unity, and the strange beauty of the internet bringing millions of people together for one cause: never forgetting Harambe.

Everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news. And somehow, a decade later, his legacy still lives on.

Gone, but never forgotten.
Rest easy to a true patriot. 🕊️🇺🇸

May 27, 1999 — May 28, 2016
Forever in our hearts.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Cheaper than Costco!

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@sentdefender

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@grugcapital Well if that’s a Menards 5 gallon bucket you have one.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Everyone thinks we’re taking action in Iran this weekend. Nonsense. We’re about to go in and capture Castro. Venezuela 2.0

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Marco Rubio finding out he's the new director of national intelligence...

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Nate Diaz looks like he was in a car accident. Sheeesh.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

Ebola but with hantavirus!

[The Associated Press @AP]

BREAKING: A new outbreak of the highly contagious Ebola virus has been confirmed in Congo’s eastern Ituri province, Africa’s top public health body said. There have been 246 suspected cases and 65 deaths recorded so far. https://t.co/pfH5dhDyvK

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@brim006 Definitely has a “dictator/might get taken out in a drone strike” feel to it if you’re into that sort of thing.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

The Facebook comments are absolutely hilarious.

This article is truly a master class in how to alienate every reader and community in North Dakota.

[Flickertail Times @flickertailtime]

@brim006 Executive. Hours.