cryentist

part time chem grad student - part time comedian - full time laughing and saying yeah when I don't hear what you say

[cryentist @flubborr]

Industry is just Wallstreeted Rivalry

[cryentist @flubborr]

@sproutsfm why are y'all putting plastic in your sandwiches?

[cryentist @flubborr]

The light draining from my girlfriend's eyes the second she walks in from work and sees I have my rams jersey on on a Thursday or Monday night

[cryentist @flubborr]

You're going to let a guy who watches season 1 of Ted Lasso yearly and says it counts as therapy treat you like that?

[cryentist @flubborr]

Try calling in to work healthy every now and then so they don't expect it when you call in sick

[Tim Walz @Tim_Walz]

All Donald Trump and JD Vance know about manufacturing is how to manufacture bullshit.

[cryentist @flubborr]

Y'all think JK Rowling chose to die on this hill or was born to die on this hill?

[cryentist @flubborr]

@AGoldmund @hyperfixedpod Dude. I cannot wait. Super tech support was always my favorite part of Reply All!

[cryentist @flubborr]

The existence of pain receptors implies that pain is meant to be felt

[cryentist @flubborr]

It's Costco chain not cross gold chain and I will die on this addison brae

[cryentist @flubborr]

I challenge anyone who believes in an afterlife to take one bite of a Driscoll's strawberry and then tell me nothingness can't exist

[cryentist @flubborr]

Chugging an entire Capri sun in one suck is a peerless pleasure

[cryentist @flubborr]

Trader Joe's produce goes bad faster than a YouTuber making content for kids

[cryentist @flubborr]

Do you ever catch yourself overexplaining in real time and then panic so you change your name and move to Florida

[cryentist @flubborr]

Starting off 30 with one of the greatest gifts I've ever gotten 😭

[cryentist @flubborr]

@kuzvibez Ayo!

[cryentist @flubborr]

@chadwop They're just mad they're not hot like Papa John

[cryentist @flubborr]

I mean, did we respect them as human beings before this?

[cryentist @flubborr]

My Costco finally has King Arthur bread flour and I almost dropped to my knees and wept in the aisle