kye🦦

AKA: Ramen. widePeepoHappy when dog. dark uwu. wrenkle-less brain. banner: @StraBeriWaffle

[kye🦦 @fluffyOttered]

The theme song for my life

[Chi-Chi @ home @ChichiAi]

Me whenever I get asked, "how did you learn to do ___?"

[Natx Wang 🇸🇬🍟 @natxwang]

Singapore's TFR is below 1.

We've tried Baby Bonuses. Tax relief. Parental leave.
All very sensible.

But maybe sensible isn't working. Maybe it's time to throw some slightly unhinged ideas into the mix.

Hear me out:

1. Dim HDB staircase lights after 10pm.
Instant ambience for those impulsive moments.
Using existing infrastructure. Save electricity too. Very cost efficient.

2. Let us use CDC vouchers to book hotels.
We're still supporting local businesses.
With… potential economic benefits.

3. Gamify sex.
Achievements. Badges. Titles. Quest guides.
“Local Legend”: done in every town in Singapore.
“Coast to Coast Completionist.”
“Nature Explorer.”

Singaporeans will compete over literally anything.
Give us achievements and a leaderboard and suddenly everyone has aim for.

4. Strava, but for mating.
Streaks. Personal bests. Monthly challenges.
Imagine opening the app and seeing:
“Desmond has been more active than you this week.”
Cannot lose to Desmond.

5. Baby making speedruns.
How quickly can you go from Baby #1 → Baby #2?
Show proof of pregnancy, and get sponsorships, rebates and extra benefits.

6. Tie COE rebates to children.
1 kid = 10%
2 kids = 30%
3 kids = 50%
You want that Land Rover? You want that Alphard?
The nation would like to discuss a mutually beneficial arrangement.

7. BTO Pregnancy Fast Pass.
Pregnant? Move up the queue.
2 kids? Express lane.
3 kids? HDB delivers the keys, a hamper and a handwritten thank-you note from the nation.

8. Maternity ward loyalty programme.
Same like frequent flyer, but better.
Baby #1: Silver
Baby #2: Gold
Baby #3: Platinum
Baby #4: PPS Club

Priority check in. Lounge access. Complimentary upgrade where available.

9. Annual couples' hotel vouchers for parents.
Once a year, the kids go to a nanny and mum and dad go for a staycation.
Official purpose: “strengthening marriages.” Because couples need “bonding time in privacy”.

10. Master bedrooms come with extra soundproofing.
For better sleep, obviously.
Better rest. More privacy. Higher productivity.
Creating conducive environments that contribute to the national KPI.

11. Subsidize aphrodisiacs.
Why keep telling Singaporeans to make babies when we can just… nudge them in the right direction.

Chocolates, oysters and wine at half price… The more they eat, the more “ready” they become.

Just quietly set the mood and then the other head gets to work.

Which one will convince you?

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

I totally understand you

[kye🦦 @fluffyOttered]

@lovehobi3000 ???????????

[こみすん @pasta_ssn]

休憩する魚

[𓏵 @laceddotz]

what’s the point of having boobs if nobody six seven them

[No Context Cats @nocontextscats]

Scuba scuba

[Sandwiches 🍙,🇵🇭 Comm open! @Onipensai]

The Mall 1/2

[FAIRY @thisdecfairy]

“eat, food will give you energy.”

me after eating:

[𝒵𝒾𝓀✯ @_Gottalovezik]

POV: me at 2am after saying I'm getting up early

[NiixARTs🐇 @NiixARTs]

Every time

[Happy Captain @EODHappyCaptain]

Curse the person who put the back pain Relief on the bottom shelf:

[TeeBag🇰🇪 @tii_bag]

Bananas are such convenient fruits like no chopping or washing needed, not sticky, no juice dripping around and they come with their own biodegradable packaging. A 10/10 in my books

[Prowl8413 @Prowl8413]

This is a test of selfishness and lack of care for others.

If you puck blue, you want everyone to live.

If you pick red, you dont care that people who picked blue die.

There is no other way to argue this. Statistically you cant get more than like 70% of people to agree on almost anything, so picking red, youre ok with wiping out like 30%+ of people.

Its easy to make that choice when you don't know who the 30% is. This shows a lack of empathy, and forethought, because surely you will have some family members, your mom, brother, niece, etc that pick blue, and had you known that consequence beforehand, you would have chosen different.

This sort of experiment seems benign, but its a glimpse at how the 45% or so of people actually feel about the 55% that chose correctly.

They will sell you down the river quick if they dont know you personally, but then play ignorant/stupid when the consequences hit them personally.

[Del Luna🌙 @_wanguiii]

Can someone just hire me

[Pokémon Daily @pokemon_daily]

average girlfriend behavior 😭

[Adam Karpiak @Adam_Karpiak]

devastated to announce the weekend is over