LizzieAnderson

SWAG.

[LizzieAnderson @FluffyPawsIzzy]

ur not fat ur just easier to see

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i opened my laptop today and there was a giant crack on the screen.

I'm always forgetting to close the porn tab...

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Hell Yeah Home alone! :D
Expectation: Parttty!!! (:
Reality: peeing with the door open.

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i will be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti, and a future archaelogist will have have one awesome day at work

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i'm pretty sure that my really cute next door neighbot thinks im a stalkre. She wrote it on facebook, twitter, and even in her diarie

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Today i bought a pack of nuts. On the packet it said WARNING MAY CONTAIN NUTS''. well i'd be disappointed if i opened it and a sock fell out

[Kyle @blokingsmunts]

my friends girlsfriend is pregnant for 6 months, she asked if i wasnted to feel the baby.

Apparently she ment on the outside.

[Chloe Lipton @ChloeKilla]

whenever im doing somthing stupid i always imagine how they would narrate my death on 1000 ways to die

[LizzieAnderson @FluffyPawsIzzy]

@Chanteezzyyy i looovvve ur tweets! lol :)
were do u come up with this?

[LizzieAnderson @FluffyPawsIzzy]

chillen;] http://twitpic.com/5pnnad

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

To Do List: Follow joggers around in my car blasting ''eye of the tigers'' for encouragement

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

i was on a date recently and i took her horseback riding, it was kind of fun until we ran out of quarter :p

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

laughter is the best medicine.
but if you laugh for no reason you need medcine

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

you always remember your fist crush mine was orange ;)

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

my girlfriend hates when i bring movie qoutes into sex such as ''autobots transform'' when we change positions lol :p

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Can geico really save you 15% on acr insurance
Does casey anthony have one hell of a lawyer?

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

Do you work for Nike?
Cause i think we should just do it

[Andrew Elson @Swagnastyandrew]

You: ''Mom look at this''
Mom: ''oh yeah dear thats nice''
You: ''i think its really cool how you saw that without looking -_-