Slyy

Sports Analyst For Oregon & Seattle Sports
#ScoDucks #GoHawks
2014 & 2026 SB CHAMPS💍💍

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

!!!

[12s @12s]

Hey…

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@hawkmania4 need to get him more out their.. he was very good last season for us as a rookie

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys The DC blames execution, the head coach blames preparation, and Jerry Jones blames absolutely nobody. Meanwhile, I'm eating birthday cake alone in the dark.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Our coaches have me yelling at the TV like it owes me child support.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys The Cowboys need to fire the entire coaching staff, hire a high school coach, and let the fans vote on fourth-down decisions. Can't possibly get worse.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Our head coach could have 4th-and-1 at the goal line and somehow call a screen pass behind the line of scrimmage. I NEED ANSWERS.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys The Cowboys coaching staff looks like they planned this game in a group chat and nobody read the messages

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Our head coach has the game management skills of somebody playing football for the first time on a Nintendo Wii.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys The Cowboys defense gives up 35 points and the DC walks off the field looking like he just completed a successful business meeting.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys I paid money to watch 11 professional athletes stand around while the opposing team runs a 7-minute touchdown drive. My birthday party has officially become a funeral.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys The opposing quarterback has more time in the pocket than I have to finish my taxes. SOMEBODY SEND A BLITZ

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Our DC is calling coverages like he's trying to help the opposing offense finish its homework.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys The Cowboys defense couldn't stop a shopping cart rolling downhill. I'm done

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Just watched our DC call that defensive scheme and immediately checked if he was using a random play generator on Madden.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Our defensive coordinator needs to explain why opposing quarterbacks look like prime Tom Brady every Sunday. WHO IS COVERING ANYBODY?

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Jerry Jones has me paying for NFL Sunday Ticket just to watch a billionaire disappoint me in 4K.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys My wife said she's leaving me because I care more about the Cowboys than my family. I told her at least my family doesn't blow fourth-quarter leads.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Jerry Jones could lose 50–0 and walk into a press conference talking about how encouraged he is. BRO, ENCOURAGED BY WHAT?

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys I just changed my will. Everything goes to my family except my Cowboys merchandise. That shit is going to the landfill.

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys Jerry Jones saw an 0–4 Buccaneers team and thought, “This is a great opportunity to ruin millions of Sundays.”

[Slyy @flyestttduck_]

@dallascowboys My birthday cake said “This is our year.” Jerry Jones should be paying for my therapy.