Ass slinging slasher

I done shidded in the club

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

i want y’all to know that every time i bang i’m literally getting my back blown out under a framed poster of the bee gees

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

the hook stays on during intercourse me lass

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

My mom at 26: Married, two children already with one more in the future. Stable life with a 3 bedroom home in a middle class neighborhood

Me at 26:

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

i literally used to snort my wellbutrin in high school and now i’m scared to eat a CBD gummy because “what if I somehow get high”

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

fun fact! Beach House records all of their songs in the bottom of a dried up well, that is how they achieve the ethereal and otherworldly quality of their music

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

haters thought i was the Scientific Method the way i Hypothesized their downfall

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

they thought i was fucking meiosis the way i Divide and Conquer

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

the pack so good that shit gave me rabies

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

beatin myself off wolf of wall street style

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

In traffic I like to put my hand in the Wussy for comfort

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

if i had dysentery there’s no way that i’d die because i’m built different

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

do NOT let my hungry ass around bean bags

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

who needs a couch when you have 5 weird chairs

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

imagine you were getting a colonoscopy and when you went in for pre op you just saw anal beads on the surgical tray

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

i can’t headbang because i got low blood pressure

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

the worst part about throwing up is when i have to look up from my phone

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

i got a glock in my rari (i have a tampon in my pussy)

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

damn shawty. you move so eerily and ghoulish

[Ass slinging slasher @flyingsmit]

I was not “born” I was manufactured in the bimbo factory