Matt Fodera

Funny man, books on tape listener, lover. My life in summation.

[Ian Rapoport @RapSheet]

#Jets coach Robert Saleh tells reporters that CBs Sauce Gardner and DJ Reed have cleared the concussion protocol and are good to go.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

@donkeypunchrLA I loved you in Bronson

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

It's safe to say, since @realDonaldTrump took office, America is now seen as the New Jersey of the world. #arewegreatyet?

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

@ElLiamano @realDonaldTrump true. Plus, if anyone can help us get our Welcome Back Kotter reboot off the ground, it's The Donald.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

Bang up job @realDonaldTrump. Tweeting about TV ratings is just propelling the US back to greatness.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

Supposedly @realDonaldTrump is replacing WH first lady portraits with his favorite @MaximMag covers, except for Nancy, she stays.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

There's a good chance that Kim Jong Un and @realDonaldTrump share the same barber.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

I came perilously close to having to pee in a ziplock bag last night. #nyctraffic

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

Loosely translated, #PokemonGo means virgin parade in Japanese

[Paul Oddo @PaulOddo]

My LA album/book release show is Wednesday @ucbtla Sunset location. (7pm/$5) Fantastic lineup! Don't miss it!

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

While less blowjob-y, I'm pretty sure a Mad-Libs will have more insight and depth than the upcoming Lindsey Lohan book.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

I'll read the essay on self empowerment that @KimKardashian "penned" when I'm done reading the @LouieAnderson workout manual.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

I feel the need.....the need.....for ass out hugs.

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

@HudsonWhiskey we are walking for the March of Dimes. Our son Hudson (named after you guys) was 11 weeks early.
http://t.co/V8MQBmChDf

[The Onion @TheOnion]

NFL Announces New Zero-Tolerance Policy On Videotaped Domestic Violence http://t.co/WP6e9lkYsi #OurAnnualYear

[The Onion @TheOnion]

TIP: Mount a menorah on your roof so Santa knows to keep it moving http://t.co/pUQ2TYkD64

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

Not many people get to go to work knowing you're gonna get knifed by @marilynmanson. Excellent scene @Theorossi

[The Onion @TheOnion]

In Focus | Study: Depression Hits Losers Hardest http://t.co/kTyYD651Ln

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

My little man Hudson. 11 weeks early but doing great. Getting bigger every day. #feelingveryfortunate

[Matt Fodera @fodorable]

I'm not ashamed to admit that my newborn son's name, Hudson, came from a bottle of whiskey. Thanks @HudsonWhiskey