yoikes

remember to smash that mufukin yikes button

[yoikes @foingus]

jk simmons stands for jimmy kimmel simmons

[actually it’s good @yungchomsky]

yes, I’m a MILLENNIAL
I listen to VAMPIRE WEEKEND
I watch WES ANDERSON
I know how COMPUTERS WORK

deal with it!!!

[Jenevieve @imniceandsmart]

are you seeing this shit my liege

[pestle @pestleee]

why are fish the only thing you can monger. let me monger some other stuff

[Hbomberguy @Hbomberguy]

If your house burns down, you can just sell your house and move

[yoikes @foingus]

*kicks your balls anciently*

[true simp @TrueHopeSimpler]

Babies with soft spots on their heads better not be misbehaving!! Lest they end up on the pottery wheel‼️💯

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

Jerry: I'm in Nosferatu's thrall.
George: You're in his thrall?
Jerry: I'm in his thrall!
George: Get out of his thrall.
Jerry: You can't get out of a thrall. That's the thing with a thrall! You're never through with the thrall!
KRAMER BARGES IN
Kramer: Well, I got the plague!

[shreya @shreyabasu003]

If I were the joker I would change the “best by” dates on food to say “worst by.” On account of how twisted I would be

[daphne @daphflac]

Gram Smoker's Packula

[yoikes @foingus]

that's me with the horrible slouch and the blue coat!! wow. famous

[ジャンクロップ @JUNKROP]

15:35から2部本番です🎤
最高の会場で天気にも恵まれま���た☀️
年内ラストの屋外ライブ🎪
特典会受付でカイロ差し上げます🔥
買い足してきます🏃‍♂️💨
📍池袋西口公園野外劇場
グローバリングシアター

[Wolf man! @ImSmilingRn]

Just pacemogged a slowbie on the sidewalk

[donald boat @laserboat999]

Vietnamese fishermen taught me how to use buddhist mind-blasting techniques to blow fish out of the water and now i use it to attack the coast guard when they try to encroach on my lakeside shrimp farm

[marmot @MarmotRespecter]

i went to the gay apparel store and they said you already donned everything

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

her: so babe aren't you gonna tell me some cool facts about German tanks

Me, too sad about the robot dying in sonic adventure: I guess. The panzer III ausf F was armed with a 50mm cannon

her, encouraging: how did it perform against soviet armour?

me, sighing: underwhelmingly

[Cybershell @Cybershell]

It has been brought to my attention that the "Lovense Lush 3 Vibrator" has clearly plagiarized the design of "The Asswatcher" I created in Spore Creature Creator sixteen years ago and, frankly, I believe I deserve some royalties.

[The Mollusk @ItsWanderingEye]

Ween recording Ocean Man

[Ріца ⋰✋🏻⋱🌻🍉🎇 @GumiAbkhazFan]

Faux Cyrillic is my favorite kind of torture

[TJS @traderjoeslut]

i’m doing a new challenge called Sunday November 17th. It’s where I try to make it through every hour of Sunday November 17th.

[yoikes @foingus]

when i use the bathroom at a business i make sure to flip their toilet paper if it's underhand. im kind of like batman in that way. working in the shadows to make the world a better place