FooperCooper

I'm a dad and Dodger fan. I do stand up paddleboarding and stand up comedy, but not at the same time.

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

Technically the very very late bird who stayed out partying all night till daybreak could get the worm first. But I see now why that wouldn’t make a good inspirational poster for pioneer children.

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@heygoldy play the hot hand. Don’t pull Luke

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@Mariners can you please tell Dan to stop taking Luke out?

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@heygoldy @Mariners so spring training games don’t sound the same without the trumpet man. Any chance you can pipe in a few for us old fans?

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@nytimes That was the plan all along to suspend elections

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@SeattleKraken @amazon Said no woman ever

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@USATODAY Did Russia write this plan?

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@wsdot_traffic Everyone drive normal today so we can all get home to watch the games. No crazy stuff please

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@USATODAY Due. Process. Matters.

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@fasc1nate Google rating

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@konstructivizm And it looks PISSED

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@minakimes Can we finally retire “the double” as the only highlight we show? We have lots of new stuff now!

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@HuffPost Chai tea more likely

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@HuffPost Literally stay in your own lane

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@MLB @Mariners Switch hitting platinum glove everyday catcher hit 60 home runs and had zero passed balls. Read each word slowly and that answers your question.

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@MLB A switch hitting platinum glove catcher hit 60 home runs. Read that slowly. He wins.

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@KING5Sports Terrible call by ump lead to that

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@enews Is he trying to find an open receiver in his personal life too?

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@konstructivizm Didn’t know they were fighting

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@HuffPost So it’s not foreigners he dislikes, it’s poor people

[FooperCooper @foopercooper]

@MLBONFOX Ichiro could still play