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[masha @MashaParty]

my pussy tastes like mitch mcconnell

[breadloaf 🛤️ @taxspendlib]

I get stressed out when I see a friend group that consists of 3-6 dudes orbiting one eccentric woman

[Rae @Raelthy]

"35 year old daddy dom,"
hit the oil rig retard

[Sillyfella @sillyfella600]

When the crackhead on the bus wants to show you his Beavis and Butthead impressions

[alina DSÉ @djdjavr]

White people passing the blunt

[vicky ☕ @a24victoire]

August is going to feel like this

[our band could be your wife @grace_roso]

Nothingmaxxing

[jz2 @mixedgrass666]

I’m so fiercely anti nostalgia I won’t even tell my coworkers what I did over the weekend lest I look back on it too fondly

[. @mithkii]

I love when a man gives up on me so I can focus on feeling weird in my room

[blaire @pissshit90001]

I gotta stay single 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I’m out here asking for permission to do drugs 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[Joey Garcia @NotJosephGarcia]

Songs sound like music to my ears.

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

(on a first date) Can we please just try to have a good night

[🗡 vixen · ❄️ @waifuterf]

“this is water” and it’s just melted ice

[A @seattleiminyou]

Your nervous system is so regulated when you’re not fucking with a sex addicted loser

[miri @mishtimere]

Why are you 29 and in a situationship. You’re going to die soon