Amber Groves

Awkwardness expert. Mexophile. Professional over-thinker.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Look forward to your response @RobStokesMP @GladysB!

[Jenny Leong MP 梁珍妮 @jennyleong]

Hey @RobStokesMP and @GladysB - these families and their neighbours who live right near the new inner city high school want to know what's happening with the catchment? You announced it, it was outrageous. You said you would review it by end of January, it's now mid-Feb...

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

@crust_pizza Yikes, Crust! Going on an hour for delivery! They say it's left the building and I'm only 300 metres away… confused and hungry

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

The bachelor's pain puts my own into perspective. #bachelorau #handburn #drunk

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Steam hurts hands AND punctuation. PSA. #handburn

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Fist bumping daughters fairy doll. We've both been through some serious shit. And drunk. #handburn

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Husband says I'm annoying. But he won't blow on my hand in the right way or let me watch the bachelor without protest. #handburn

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Things I can do with one hand... Eat pizza. Go to the toilet. It's been a slow night, ok?!

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Mum has FBed "are you ok?"... Trying to locate "screaming/dying but don't worry too much but seriously I'm dying" emoticon. Not found.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Just googled "that dog cone thing but for human hand". It is a desperate situation. And drunk.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Live tweeting my steam burn. Stay tuned...

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

I always forget how scary scorpions are.

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

Exaggeration is worse than Hitler.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Need a "cool" and "unique" name for your baby? Try removing the first letter of some normal names... voila! Eg. Ruce, Oby, Ania. Arah.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Can you believe I'm too full to even contemplate this?! #marchintomerivale

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Good god #marchintomerivale

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Good god.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

Waving at boats from a boat. How did that start?!

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

My whole world is memory foam

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

beefy, porky, blubbery, poddy, chunky, well padded, well covered, well upholstered, podgy, fubsy. All great synonyms for excellent.

[Amber Groves @forestandpearl]

…in the beam, of ample proportions, Falstaffian; buxom; obese, corpulent, bloated, gross, gargantuan, elephantine; fleshy, tubby, roly-poly…