mo

life is like a sandwich: no matter which way you flip it, the bread comes first💯

[mo @forkliftwizard]

still gives me goosebumps every time i watch #MCD @chancetherapper

[mo @forkliftwizard]

i’m on that good cushion alcohol

[Los Angeles Dodgers @Dodgers]

FINAL: Cubs 16, #Dodgers 0

[mo @forkliftwizard]

dudes that prefer double stuffed oreos definitely sit when they pee

[mo @forkliftwizard]

thinking about the outrageous interior design for this german hostel i almost stayed at in 2022

[mo @forkliftwizard]

@sukelextro okay… now i’m hungry 🤤

[mo @forkliftwizard]

one of my hottest takes, but lasagna fucking sucks. fake ass pasta. an impasta some would say #facts

[mo @forkliftwizard]

@sukelextro okay garfield. “i hate mondays” lookin ahh

[mo @forkliftwizard]

you alright babe? you’ve barely touched your shredded low moisture part-skim mozzarella & parmesan cheeses with naturally flavored crushed red pepper

[mo @forkliftwizard]

i be sending the same person the same snap memory every single year

[mo @forkliftwizard]

y’all fuck with Chick-Fart-La?

[mo @forkliftwizard]

y’all fuck with Fart Impala?

[mo @forkliftwizard]

total consumption the past 48 hours:

- 2 gallons of water
- 4 cups of coffee
- 48” of Subway philly cheese steak

[mo @forkliftwizard]

interesting that being “ass” at something is a bad thing, but being “the tits” at something is a good thing

[mo @forkliftwizard]

nothing more disrespectful than getting your food at a restaurant and the shrimps still got the shell on 👎🏻

[mo @forkliftwizard]

recently turned 26 and let’s just say… i think i might be addicted to my health insurance plan 😂♥️

[mo @forkliftwizard]

ultimate time saving hack: don’t say “tomorrow morning”, say “to’morning”

[mo @forkliftwizard]

lady bugs probably got the best PR team in the animal kingdom

[mo @forkliftwizard]

one day you watched your last Apple Jacks commercial and didn’t even know

[mo @forkliftwizard]

ball knowers will understand

[mo @forkliftwizard]

they done fucked up and re-released the legend #swag