Matt Forss - Comedian

Available for comedy guest spots, openers, and feature work in Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnesota, and Iowa.

Call me today!
715-935-2038

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

I saw someone smoking an E-Cig on an E-Bike while reading an E-Book.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

@NWSGreenBay Is the tornado reported near Albany, WI today the first confirmed tornado occurring in the state in February?

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

@bertkreischer No, that means you're pregnant!

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

I wonder if the Spam company ever gets their emails.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

Two ten-year-old boys were discovered working at a McDonald’s. When the manager was questioned about how they even got hired, he replied:

“I thought it was strange their resume was written in crayon.”

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

I typed one too many X's for Twitter and got a site I wasn't expecting!

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

All gangster movies should be 16mm.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

Peewee Herman (Paul Ruebens) died and his ashes will be scattered in the back of a movie theatre.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

A woman posted a request for a breastfeeding pump for $70.

I told her I'll suck it out for $50.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

@ObserverArchive Are there any pictures of the Willis & Geiger Outfitters company in this place?

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

I'm not very knowledgeable about female birth control, but my girlfriend is on an IED.

It's 100% effective!

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

@kierstonator I'd pick you...assuming I was referring to a plant.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

I knew a woman that had breast cancer and she found out her husband was cheating on her.

So she got rid
of three boobs.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

My girlfriend's favorite sexual position?

Reverse missionary.

That's where both of us walk away from each other.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

@Akiliense I still listen to this and I'm not Uzbek!

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

I'm offering free breast exams!

I'm not a doctor,
but I did take Anatomy 1 and 2 in college.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

A Florida man was arrested for slapping a woman in the face with a slice of pizza.

She was hand-tossed!

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

A small boy crawled into one of those carnival claw machines and got stuck. Upon hearing the news, the Catholic Church ordered thousands of those machines.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

After 87 years, the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile is going to change its name to something less offensive - the Penis Wagon.

[Matt Forss - Comedian @forss_matt]

Martha Stewart (81) is the oldest woman to be featured on the cover of Sports Illustrated’s latest Swimsuit issue. The magazine can be found at newsstands…and mortuaries.