Alex

W.I.P

[Rt Hon. Will || Portfolio for Sarcasm (parody) @colder_sarcasm]

Tells you everything you need to know about the ‘protect are women’ crowd.

[Alex @fr046001]

@ScottGShore @narindertweets Is your mum still paying your bills like it said in your latest court case?

[Curtis Daly @CurtisDaly_]

"Protect our women and girls"

[jude martin @judecambridge]

Private Eye:

[HENRY MORRIS @mrhenrymorris]

Struggling to recollect any legitimate concerns rioting after these abhorrent episodes. Maybe there's another agenda at play.

[Guy Walters 🇺🇦 🇻🇪 🇮🇷🇧🇾 @guywalters]

Quote of the day by Lee of Makerfield.

[Mark Cockerton @CockertonMark]

You boy! Are the riots working or are they still talking about that £5 million?

[Thanos Angelopoulos @Th_Angelopoulos]

10 years ago.

[Sam 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 @Sam_LUFC__]

Nazi saluting at a protest for a man of Polish descent dying is certainly a choice

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

Nigel Farage's work over the last 11 weeks broken down:

- Parliamentary votes registered (including on immigration): 0

- Violent racial divisions stoked: 1

[Flibberty Gibbert @ReturnOfDadbo]

Hi @Nigel_Farage

You picking up the bill for this, you fucking criminal cunt?

[Alexander Thatcher @ThatchEffendi]

You guys are such cliches. He has no idea what he's wearing. He's buttoned both buttons on a two button jacket, which is basically never acceptable. He's wearing a tie pin with a waistcoat. The collar is wrong and it's unbuttoned. Combining 1920s hair with a Victorian moustache is gauche. He looks like a waiter at a try-hard artisanal cocktail place in 2014.

[Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews]

Black men have a much higher risk of getting prostate cancer. It's unwise to test white men at the same rate due to false positives leading to overdiagnosis and unnecessary treatment. Could you please, for one fucking day, give it a rest?

[Bushra Shaikh @Bushra1Shaikh]

This is what this scumbag said when Sarah Everard was kidnapped, raped and murdered by a WHITE police officer.

Today, for the killing of Henry Novak by a Brown Sikh man, he calls the British public to "rage".

[Andy Burnham @andyburnham]

@RobertJenrick Maybe you should read the report I commissioned - you know, the one published in January 2020 in which you showed zero interest when you were Communities Secretary?

[Colin the Dachshund @DachshundColin]

"I once received £5m, a further £1m, an £800k house, helicopter trips and a trip to the Maldives, and wasn't expected to do anything in return for it."

[Withnail Jones @withnailjones]

I’m hearing that Andy Burnham has purchased a meal deal at WH Smith in Euston station. Beth, Sam and Sophy are en route to ask the checkout assistant what flavour crisps he chose.

Meanwhile Nigel Farage trousered a £5m bung and didn’t declare it.

Back to the crisps story.

[Colin the Dachshund @DachshundColin]

🚨BREAKING🚨
Keir Starmer once reclined his seat on a short-haul flight.

In other news Nigel Farage has received a £5m gift, a house, helicopter flights, a Maldives trip and been accused of throwing an election for £1m.

Here's Sam Coates with more on the reclined seat scandal.

[Cal Cowen @calculus52]

Hey @BBCNews , got a story for you!

About 11 reform new councillors have stepped down or been expelled already!

It will cost a lot to elect new ones. How about running that as a story, just for a smidgen of impartiality?