W.D. Gaster in deltarune built it all from an empty room, Mike the Cat, yeah that is Gaster. Even the Titan that is Gaster. In the bunker sits that Gaster. Entry 17's own master. All are Gaster / Grand Unified absurd theories theory mockery mocking irony / reaction video meme
In America I was taken to a warehouse called Costco.
At the door, a woman checked my friend's membership card.
At last, I thought. A checkpoint. A travel pass. Finally, this country has proper gate protocol.
Inside, the ceiling was so high that weather felt possible.
They sell mayonnaise in containers I would describe as architectural. Forty-eight eggs at once. Trousers next to televisions next to a kayak.
Old women stood at small stations, handing out free food on toothpicks.
I asked my friend when the festival ends.
He said, "It's Tuesday."
The festival does not end. The festival is the store.
Then he bought me a hot dog and a soda.
It cost one dollar and fifty cents.
I assumed I misheard. I checked the receipt.
One dollar. Fifty cents. The price has not changed since 1985.
I was alive in 1985. Everything I have purchased since then has betrayed me at least once.
Gasoline. Rent. Rice. All of them broke their word.
The hot dog did not.
I asked how this is possible, and I received a story I did not believe until I confirmed it.
The founder, before he stepped down, told the next chief what would happen if he ever raised the price of the hot dog.
He said, and this is recorded history: "If you raise the price, I will kill you."
Scholars believe he was joking.
The price has not moved in forty years.
I leave the conclusion to you.
At the exit, a man checked our receipt and drew one line across it with a highlighter.
A seal. A magistrate's signature, approving safe passage.
I bowed to him slightly.
He said, "Have a good one," which I now understand can refer to a day, a life, or a hot dog, depending on need.
In my country, we honor merchants who keep the same price for generations. There is a shop in Kyoto four hundred years old. We treat it as a national treasure.
Costco is forty years old and sells tires.
Give it time.
Empires fell. Currencies died.
The hot dog holds.
A nation is its promises.
I paid one dollar and fifty cents.
The promise held.
larpcloaks geninuely believe the Thalmor funds the Empire. Never ask them how exactly their leader "escaped" Thalmor custody or what he did to those children from the Reach
In America I ordered a milkshake and the young man turned it upside down over my head.
I did not move. A samurai does not flinch, even when the ice cream is above him and gravity is the law.
Nothing fell.
The cup hung there, upside down, defying the sky, and the boy held it over me with the calm of a man who has done this ten thousand times and buried his fear long ago.
This is the Blizzard. This is Dairy Queen.
If it falls, they told me, you get it free.
I understood at once. This was not dessert. This was an ordeal.
The boy was not showing off. He was swearing an oath, with his own arm, that he had made the thing thick enough to hang against the earth, and he was betting the price of it on his honor.
The flip is not a trick.
It is a vow.
In my land a smith proved his blade by cutting.
Here a boy of seventeen proves his by turning it over a stranger's head and looking him in the eye while the whole line waits to see if he lied.
He did not lie.
He set it upright, handed it to me, and said "there you go, man," then turned to the next customer as if he had not just gambled his good name across a counter.
I tipped him everything in my pocket.
He tried to give it back. He said it was just a Blizzard.
I told him it was not just a Blizzard.
I could not explain the rest in English, and there was a line, and he was busy.
So I bowed instead.
He said, "You too, man."
That answered nothing I had said.
It answered everything I had felt.