Frank Brown

Whales in the sea / God’s voice obey

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Submitting an anonymous tip to an investigative journalist on Signal about a beautiful sunset

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

*touches earpiece* I’m getting word that every good boy does fine and all cows eat grass

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Muahahaha…. this policy isn’t community-oriented AT ALL 😈!

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

FOIA request-ing the magician’s secrets

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Yeah and can I sub out the meat for tofurky

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

First-ever two panel New Yorker cartoon features even less funny second panel

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Pro life women just haven’t felt that first post-abortion cig

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

That reminds me of the time I was wandering lonely as a cloud

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

*walking into Supercuts* hey 👋 do you guys do lice treatments?

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

What I wanted as first dance: Hefner by Tana Mongeau

What she wanted as first dance: Taylor Swift

Our compromise: wedding called off

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Waiter-san there’s a fly in my tonkatsu miso ramen

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Quack doctor: we can have some more monkeys jumping on the bed

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Should I bring flowers to my job interview

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Free screenplay idea: “The Unhappiest Clam” please credit me if you write it!

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

I do door to door sales also I’m a fall risk

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

@clintonyates Jordon Hudson for heisman calling it now

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

7700 N Santa Claus Ln, motor vehicle vs sleigh collision reported #update medivac flight requested

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

I just contributed to a gofundme for Sherman’s March to the Sea was that a scam

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

1 thing people don’t realize nowadays is that there’s smart and then there’s Kmart smart…

[Frank Brown @frankbrown351]

Remember when I was in charge of horoscopes and obits at my newspaper job well they moved me to general assignments and my general assignment is usually to get other ppl coffee