Francis

all views are my very own thanks

[Ben Smith @bensmithrugby]

Pieter-Steph takes off the brake hand, and Ox Nche takes that damn step wider pre-feed! Du Toit knows he gotta move that hand quick or get walked on!

[80s Kidz @80s_Kidz]

This poor kid on Junior Kickstart.
It definitely wasnt his thigh he caught
Peter😬🍒

[British & Irish Lions @lionsofficial]

Pure class from John Bentley...

[Sir Geoffrey Boycott @GeoffreyBoycott]

A dream come true indeed. 49 years ago today

[Britain's Lost & Living Pubs @Britains___Pubs]

I wonder how many of you will remember this iconic Guinness advert from 1999 🍻⏳️

[James Rebanks @herdyshepherd1]

You are the chair @naturalengland at a time when almost our entire nature restoration policy/investment programme has been dismantled by successive governments - we now have no universal scheme for farmers to restore nature

You don’t seem to speak against that or do anything

[Michael Reiners @MCRReiners]

‘Manchesterism’, a decidedly undefined term, can be best explained by this clip.

Most things can be best explained by a clip from Yes Minister.

[The Sting @TheStingisBack]

What's the weather looking like today, Robin?
"Basically, it's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut."

[floki @Unfeel34]

Before Bazball, there was Mark Butcher's masterpiece 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 at Headingley.

When Mark Butcher stunned prime Australia 🇦🇺 with one of the greatest fourth-innings chases in #Testcricket history.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @maxandpaddyline]

Follow @BestOfUKComedy for more gems like The Two Ronnies & Crossed Lines 📞

[Johnny Midnight ⚡️ @its_The_Dr]

Sounds different but Good

[BBC Newsnight @BBCNewsnight]

"Whatever was going on, however frightening or volatile, he always managed to make you feel slightly better about it."

@vicderbyshire pays tribute to Sir Alex Younger, the former head of MI6 and #Newsnight regular, who has died aged 62.

[Harry Metcalfe @harrym_vids]

British Farming is struggling right now and here’s why.
We no longer value food, unless it’s been highly processed. That’s why farmers can’t make a profit while supermarkets continue to enjoy bumper profits year after year

[Matt Cartoons @MattCartoonist]

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph

Buy a print of my cartoons at https://t.co/ILFJjPmckx

Original artwork from https://t.co/CVzTP7rF2f

[Ed Conway @EdConwaySky]

Good to see our salt story followed up here👇
The slow motion collapse (actually no longer slow motion) of Britain's chemicals industry is a BIG deal.
But NB it's not just salt.
Ammonia, sulphuric acid, ethanol, and a host of other foundational chemicals too. All going or gone

[Shanaka Anslem Perera ⚡ @shanaka86]

BREAKING: The nitrogen trap just closed. Three locks snapped shut simultaneously. The planting window is closing behind them. And the food the world eats next year is now being decided by molecules that cannot reach the soil in time.

Lock one: the Strait of Hormuz. The IRGC permissioned corridor allows oil tankers from friendly nations to pay $2 million in yuan and pass. It does not allow fertiliser vessels to pass at any price. Zero approved fertiliser transits in 24 days. The Gulf supplies 49 percent of the world’s exported urea and roughly 30 percent of traded ammonia. That supply is not delayed. It is denied. The gate opens for molecules that fund the gatekeeper. It stays closed for molecules that feed the planet.

Lock two: Russia. The world’s largest exporter of ammonium nitrate just halted all AN exports until after April 21. Three to four million tonnes per year, gone from global markets at the exact moment the Northern Hemisphere needs it most. The official reason is “domestic priority.” The strategic effect is leverage. Russia earns windfall revenue from the oil price spike its ally’s war created, then removes the fertiliser that farmers need to plant through the crisis. The disease and the cure, again, from the same address.

Lock three: China. Beijing has banned exports of nitrogen-potassium blends and phosphate fertilisers through August 2026. China is the world’s largest phosphate producer and a major nitrogen supplier. The ban removes the last alternative source that could have compensated for Hormuz and Russia. Three locks. Three countries. Three deliberate decisions timed to the same biological calendar.

The biological calendar does not negotiate. Corn requires nitrogen at the V6 to VT growth stage or kernel set is permanently reduced. Wheat requires it at tillering and jointing or grain fill collapses. Rice requires it at transplanting or yield drops 20 to 40 percent in low-input systems. These are not economic models. They are cellular processes. The plant either receives nitrogen during the window or it does not. If it does not, no subsequent application, no price increase, no policy reversal can recover what was lost. The damage is written into the biology of the seed.

The US Corn Belt window closes mid-April. European top-dressing is happening now. Indian Kharif preparation begins in May. Bangladeshi Boro rice transplanting is underway this week. Every one of these windows is closing while the three largest sources of nitrogen on Earth are simultaneously locked: Hormuz by military blockade, Russia by export decree, China by trade ban.

The USDA Prospective Plantings report arrives March 31. The FAO Food Price Index publishes April 3. These will quantify what the molecules already know: the nitrogen did not arrive. The yield loss is locked in. The 5 to 10 percent global drag will concentrate where the buffers are thinnest: subsistence farms in Bangladesh, Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, where a 20 percent shortfall does not mean lower profits. It means hunger.

Sri Lanka banned synthetic fertiliser in 2021. Rice yields collapsed 40 percent. The government fell. In 2008, fertiliser and oil spiked simultaneously and food riots erupted across 30 countries. In 2026, the strait blocks fertiliser while Russia and China withdraw the alternatives, and the planting windows close on a planet with nowhere else to turn.

The war is fought with missiles. The famine is fought with molecules. The molecules are trapped behind three locks on three continents, timed to the one calendar that cannot be paused, extended, or negotiated: the calendar written into the DNA of every seed in the soil.

Full analysis: https://t.co/iFmUcarGdV

[The Exploding Heads @Exploding_Heads]

"I bought a barrel of oil AND IT'S GONE DOWN?!"

Colin from Portsmouth is absolutely furious.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @maxandpaddyline]

The funniest Phoenix Nights outtakes 🎬