If youโre not receiving feedback, take the initiative to ask for it. And be prepared to receive that feedback openly. Donโt be quick to explain or defend - just listen and let it sink in.
My sincere condolences for the loss of your dear father, @jordanbpeterson. Jehovah hates death (1 Corinthians 15:26) and yearns to bring back those who are in his memory (Job 14: 14, 15).
I hope you find comfort in the real hope of being reunited with your father: John 5: 28, 29.