Fraser Abe

dripping in sarcasm, bacon grease. writer, self-loather, self-lover. superstar at the cracker factory.

fraser.abe [at]

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

i re-downloaded twitter to make this very funny and topical joke

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

me to the king streetcar: is the next stop duff-er-in street? king streetcar: i got you

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

watching cats for the first time. hey all you jellicle cats and kittens

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

i also used technology to talk to my friends hashtag coronavirus

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

literally any man: if you’re going to zoom with me have the decency to take your top off

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

a person less utterly lazy than me has to make that covid-19 hand washing meme, but with the “nancy jo? this is alexis neiers” speech

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

what would millennial “choke me” twitter do if they knew we grew up with a band called “cherry poppin’ daddies” https://t.co/IRJn8qzIGf

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

javascript? the only script about java i know is my morning mantra: “give me my timmies and no one gets hurt!”

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

according to bill c-150, a white family must, under penalty of law, name their son “milo” “arlo” or “bowie”

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

rachel told guy to turn around, evoo in hand. “yummo! looks like i’m in flavourtown now” - excerpt from my upcoming book fifty shades of ray

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

@mvsyyz apparently madam markle doesn't need to take the frill out of her bill

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

i wonder if there's any way one could go about finding places megan markle has gone to in toronto. like i want cool sculpting, but regal

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

@wucandoit if i eat at that same dining establishment, located in "the six", i'll be just like her!

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

i'm worried tiny house shows are tapping our white people with dreads named keegan resources to their absolute limits.

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

i guess nightmares are still technically dreams https://t.co/QlyavGVjZt

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

the gasp we let out when we heard sam jones doing a british accent in this movie shook the walls hashtag gays https://t.co/jY6ox7rpaT

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

vday is the perfect time to debut that splayed legged underwear selfie with a strategically placed cup captioned "my bae is coffee"

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

sailed straight through my carlsberg years and landed square in my unironically liking james blunt phase. pretty jiggy, right?

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

if homeboy's a thirty five plus year old man on a skateboard, it's quiet

[Fraser Abe @fraserabe]

saw two groups of grown ass adult men filming skateboard videos today, like vape pens sprouted legs and started doing poorly executed ollies