dadquotes

hot takes from dad

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

Jk this is not NYC

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

Just got a cappuccino from the coffee shop around the corner and their tip option on the debit machine is 5%. This is the world I want to live in. +18% tips can F off forever and always. Thank you.

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

*the cappuccino cost $9*

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

I am in a mood and I just might go on a tear

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

Dare I say I’m over NYC

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

I feel fucking demented tonight and I just might be in the mood to stir some shit 😌

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

My house smells like cigarettes disguised by incense and scented candles. What else can I light to make things worse?

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

I love a little spritz spritz of perfume before bed

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

Dressing like a courtesan in honour of His birthday

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

Today, I give myself permission to consume 7,000 calories

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

All I need in life are the simple things — steak and Lana del Rey

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

The level of shameless self-promotion and shameful a$$ licking going on on LinkedIn is grotesque. Someone teach me how to have no pride.

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

These short, dark little days are so depressing mon dieu I’ll remain in my robe

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

If I simmer my soup over night will I die?

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

@eveblabitz daylight savings is next weekend is it not

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

It’s just not very chic

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

As a self-proclaimed Hausfrau, I don’t really love mopping.

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

It’s just not chic

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

A man in westmount just complimented my “sock and bag combo.” I have truly made it in this world.

[dadquotes @frauleinkleazy]

If you’re gonna paint on eyebrows, please at least look in the mirror