Fred Schroeder

A few things about me, i am: 1) A great list maker. 2) Better than you. 3) Humbol. 4) A great speller 5) Committed and determined. 6) This is too hard i quit!

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

This is my ultimate goal as a father 😂

[Bryan Callen @bryancallen]

One day my children will understand the greatness from which they hail

[pdot @prestonbrwn_]

white claw is for the people who don’t eat their pizza crusts and four loko is for people who eat other people’s pizza crust

[mg @groovyguevara]

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from the kids’ table

[Eilen Jewell @eilenjewell]

Gypsy hit #2 on the Americana Music Show's Year-End list!

Eilen Jewell is at the top of her game and her latest album Gypsy is deeply satisfying from the first to the last track.... https://t.co/kqQHqX8ygv

[Barstool Cincinnati @UCBarstool]

A PSA to all X fans, our statues strike back (NSFW)

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

I just found out my Dad drops $100 on Angry Birds every 2mo....

I didn’t shave for 3 weeks because $14 was too much to spend on razors! #😩

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

@groovyguevara I can tell you which thrift store I buy my beard cream & radio head vinyls at? #TotsCoolHipster

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

I really like Halloween b/c it makes all the cobwebs and Ouija Boards in my house look like decorations 🕸🕷🎃

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

I feel like MOST instruments are underrated. Except for guitar, which is properly rated. I’ll rock out to an oboe solo, or whatever, that shit’s pretty #UnderratedInstruments #OboeOpinions

[Duncan Trussell @duncantrussell]

“If you really want to change the world start by getting angry then tweet to the president then take a nap.” Thomas Jefferson

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

Look what we did! #Stormthefield
Or *look the student section did. I didn’t do it. They told us not too...

Go Bearcats! Woo!

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

@groovyguevara Okay #@MeThen

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

Cooler game: Then go to the Career Fair

[mg @groovyguevara]

cool game: take a shot every time you see someone wearing a suit on career fair day

[sophie @soph_priv]

Alex Honnold: “BET”

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

We are so happy to welcome a new friend to our home.
Welcome Kevin Poussner! ❤️
Lol, He’s such a night owl😂 #Possums4Posterity

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

Ever get mad b/c people can’t read your mind and know what you want? Like, what is wrong with them? Just do what I want #TelepathicTuesday

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

Plain rice cakes are good b/c I always wondered what the flavor of packing peanuts were...
They looked so colorful!!! 🌈🥜

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

Me: Oh look a phone call from my area code! I must be popular!

Phone: beep boop* YOUR CARS WARRANTY IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE!

Me: well at least the robots like me🥺
#ICantAffordAWarranty

[Fred Schroeder @fred_schroeder]

@princessxlaina Happy bday! It’s mine as well. Lol. How many of us are there???

[Duncan Trussell @duncantrussell]

I’d surf that wave right into Hell, baby.