Jason Smith

I suffer from chronic burgerthirst.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

@terminalexist Do it. In order of release.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

@adamson_jimmy Musta scratched ur Dreamcast

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

Yo, go look up any recipe on YouTube for vodka sauce and count how many moms leave comments claiming it got their kids drunk.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

@adamson_jimmy I’ll throw some tittays in there soon, np

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

Imma make a go of this twitter thing. Here’s some baked sweet potato fries I made last night. Did I do it right?

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

I tweet less than anybody.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

Here’s one. You know you’re in your late 30’s when:
-You know your birthday, something about a body part hurting, decreased sex drive, something about anxiety & depression, something sassy... did I do it right?

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

I’m trying really hard to break into this twitter game, I want someone to screenshot my hot takes and share them on FB then I can be famous.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

"Give is your rich, coked-up masses that can stand on their own two feet (even if they have to hold on to their Hooters waitress' titties for balance)"

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

Sorry libs, heaven is open carry.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

How do I make one of those tweets that makes you famous and comes with free healthcare?

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

Is Twitter where y’all get into your nefarious deeds? Some of you are pretty dirty on here, Imma have a talk with your parents.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

First tweet in nearly 6 years, shower me with praise.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

I never knew we had a The Murmurs acoustic cassette. #dustonmyguitar #allyourfault #yousuck

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

I could care less about #arresteddevelopment #gameofthrones #venturebros but this season of Judge Mathis is TIGHT.

[Jason Smith @freemasonjasons]

My first tweet...