a farm fresh idiot

🔞; i like bogeyman shit 🤷; currently: dandadan, bg3, occasional tv movies & fic; he/they, 30s wife guy

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

yes, I changed my name and my pfp; to steal the reassurance off the cover of the hitchhikers's guide to the galaxy: don't panic.

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

Literally no one is thanking you for breaking the first rule of fight club you blathering idiot

[Emily Gould @EmilyGouldNYmag]

you're welcome

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

he better be a mlm romance option

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

a whole year late to baldur's gate but whomstever did them tiefling character models knew their audience (monsterfuckers, monsterfuckers are their audience)

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

2 hours in, finally got to meeting Astarion, made fun of me when I failed my dex to squirm away so I said "I don't like this man" and elected to headbutt him with a STR of 8 and rolled a nat 20 which was SO SATISFYING LET ME FUCKEN TE

[sarah gorman🍉 @thesarahgorman]

hollywood wants all the cool queer people to be obsessed with WICKED but really they’re all obsessed with CONCLAVE. and i think that’s beautiful

[José María Luna @JoseMLuna]

Oh Conclave really is THAT bitch, this is what Pope Francis meant about an air of f*ggotry in the Vatican

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

I am begging you to see conclave

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

truly I will go out there on them streets peddling zines like it's 1997, my curatorial skills have been waiting for this day

[b @wwxwashere]

i’m telling you now, if the government bans ao3 this will be me the next day:

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

there is a man on my block hyping up his absolutely gigantic golden retriever for no reason other than the pure joy of sprinting with him to the corner, and I think that's lovely of him

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

@mmxbeo @patriciagnomes @arrtnem @beepboopsloane I thought so too till I read their bio one day and now I think the exact opposite. Either way, they don't rankle me with any genuine intensity so

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

Wait holy shit but the fireman fandom is gigantic? Ppl for real go hard for that show? It's. It's not even that good?

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

okarun flying through stages of mortified horniness
1. horror
2. trying to get his kintama back so it all stops
3. being really into it unfortunately
4. Getting aira to do worse to him actually (feat suspicious sideeye frm momo who's tryna Figure Out What's Going On ™️)

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

This is a STELLAR concept tbqf

[Cardon's Writing Arc ✍️ @An_ca_te]

Imagine if Okarun could feel pink girl fondle his balls whenever she fiddles with the gold orb

[b @wwxwashere]

i prefer a world where fanfiction is allowed to be controversial and even bad than a world where we try to get rid of anything even remotely problematic.

[b @wwxwashere]

that’s my wife (fictional man i call pathetic)

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

Also yes I Am a Roy Mustang apologist, what of it

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

every time I am allowed to make an unconstrained, go hog-wild o.c. I make sorta buff middle-aged dudes fresh off a horrendous physical injury with zero memory and an aching desire to occupy themselves with a vastly mundane calling (my most recent one is a mailman).

[a farm fresh idiot @freshest_idjit]

and these boys I build are always like this. I am God awfully consistent in this. It must be saying something vital about me as a person, but largely I think it just reflects the fact that I need a two-year-long nap and a new job.