FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)?

Primate of Ontario
PARODY, not the seedy guy or his #DollarStoreGovt & #DailyPhotoOps. We're getting it done, & by "it" we mean enriching our donors & pals

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

My #DollarStoreGovt principles:
1/ climate change isn't real, but we pretend we believe in it to appease people smarter than our supporters.
2/ safety, health, labour, & environmental rules affecting profits are "red tape"
3/ we'll do a photo op every day, at taxpayer's expense

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

I joined @CBS’s The Takeout with @edokeefe
& pretended I'm a federal politician, instead of a big dufus looking for #DollarStoreGovt photo ops. Last time I tried to play in the "big league" with a different bullshit slogan, I made a big mess that the feds are still cleaning up.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

The recent court decision in Waterloo Region is letting a homeless encampment stand in the way of transit, homes & jobs Ontario badly needs. It’s a ridiculous decision that I hope is swiftly overturned. Those folks will never vote for me, so screw them I say.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

This court decision is standing in the way of public safety & is blocking new transit Kitchener & Ontario need. I told @melaniejoly & others it’s a ridiculous decision that needs to be overturned. I know more than the judge, I went to college for 2 months & dropped out.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

I like to pretend I'm a federal politician. I screw things up when I do that. Today, I hosted a roundtable (that was actually square!) with representatives from some of Ontario’s largest international trading partners to discuss how I can use them for #DollarStoreGovt photo ops.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

@OntarioNDP When it comes to higher education, I know how this works. I went to almost 2 months of college, & only dropped out because I started a business, selling "product". If you can't afford to go to school, get into a trade working in one of my pals & donor's (non-union) businesses.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

@OntarioNDP I don't know why me & my shitty #DollarStoreGovt should do anything about this. I like to pretend I'm #ForThePeople but when I have to choose between the people I'm for, and my corporate pals & donors.. I'm going to lead from behind on the issue. Let the (stock) market decide

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

I am disappointed that the court refused to put a stop to Al-Quds Day, which has long been a venue for antisemitism, hatred, intimidation & glorification of terrorism. More importantly, some of my #DollarStoreGovt donors objected, so I said to myself "screw the right to protest"

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Friday, I instructed my Attorney General to pursue an injunction against the Al-Quds Day demonstration planned for Toronto. My commitment to my pals & party donors is more important than anybody else's free speech. My #DollarStoreGovt will fight it however we can.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

@CTVToronto These protesters don't get it. We need graduates in Ontario to have skills that make them employable in jobs created by my #DollarStoreGovt's pals & donors. None of those pals & donors run businesses that have anything to do with the arts. That's sissy stuff anyway.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

@CTVToronto His real name isn't Ford. He just changed his actual name to cash in on my popularity.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

@CTVToronto We also plan to bring back "the strap", fountain pens, and dress codes where girls must wear skirts.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Folks, many of you are digging out from last night's snowstorm. I'd like to remind Ontarians that I'm always ready to help with my little red shovel. Remember, it isn't the size of the shovel that matters, it's how my social media team uses it to create bullshit photo ops.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

I like to play tough guy sometimes, especially when I do my stupid populist pandering. The Crown Royal shtick is a good example. I as good at tough guy & thug when I was in high school and later in my early "business" venture.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

I'm really happy that @OPSEU public sector workers will no longer be working from home. They should be in the office like every other worker. I spend all the time I can in my office except when I'm out almost daily on taxpayer funded cheesy photo ops.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Today, I joined volunteers at the Salvation Army Toy Drive to tap them for an insincere #DollarStoreGovt photo op. I don't support poor people & families, just look at how I treat them in my policies which are designed to help the rich, our pals & donors instead.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Tomorrow, speed cameras will be a thing of the past, thanks to me & my #DollarStoreGovt. We don't support this cash grab on people want to drive fast in places like school zones. We're now looking at eliminating fines levied on tickets issued by Police. That's a cash grab too.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Today, #DollarStoreGovt Minister @PBethlenfalvy delivered our 2025 Fall Economic Statement. Our plan to enrich our pals & donors is to build a more resilient & lucrative "contract economy" so we can attract more money while doing SFA to keep costs down for Ontario families.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Some people are criticizing me for sticking my nose into international trade talks with USA. Other folks appreciate me though, why I even heard one pundit say
"he's a perfect example of the Dunning-Kruger effect". I don't know what that compliment means, but I'll take it.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

This week, I attended the annual Durham Regional Police Appreciation Dinner to tap the brave men & women who put their lives on the line to protect our communities, for a cheesy insincere #DollarStoreGovt photo op. I'll bet the younger ones don't know about my seedy past.

[FordNayShun 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓎 or a Pair-a-Dime(s)? @frodnotion]

Ontario‘s ad was intended to initiate a conversation about what a tough guy I am. I pissed away millions & screwed up trade talks that were moving ahead.
I've always been a bully & a tough guy & I want to make a run for PM some day, & I'm stupid enough to think this will help me