A Wet Carrot

[No Context Tobey Maguire @OocTobeyM]

Me at 12 years old discovering it does more than just pee

[alexelliottgolf @alexelliottgolf]

My watch said 159, the golf cart said 153, my instinct said 156 so I skulled it 35 right down the middle.

[Michael Hammond @michaelhammond_]

The first time I used the same ball for an entire round of golf, I bought a case for it and it now sits on my desk.

[Freddy Doubles @freddydoubles]

He could do both. Pro golf on Thursday and Friday, and then YouTube on the weekends.

[trey wingo @wingoz]

I can safely say I’ve NEVER seen this before

[J. Mangual @MLBShotsFired]

Inflation is completely out of control, you can’t even take 3 kids to a Detroit Tigers game anymore without spending an arm and a leg! Crazy!

[Robert Sterling @RobertMSterling]

MY WIFE: He’s probably thinking about other women’s cannons

ME: I hope Twitter is as funny tomorrow as it was today

[laurence @functi0nZer0]

Asking her to go FULL JPMORGAN EXECUTIVE on it tonight

[chl$ @chelsssseeeea]

Getting called to the managers office at JP Morgan

[Not Jerome Powell @alifarhat79]

JP Morgan: We’re hiring.

Me:

[Shaun Morash @ShaunMorash]

He bring a swiffer for the dust?

[THAT SOUTHERN DUDE @TSDmemes]

Walk as quietly as I can toward the couch and sit next to her. Lean in and softly whisper, “What’s your plan for dinner?”

[Kid Riles @kid_riles]

Madison, Wisconsin

[chicken @chickenincrisis]

is my culture a joke to you

[crocodile @crocodilecrisis]

can we stop using this clip of me embarrassing myself?!

[Kirk Evans @KirkEvans0]

Think I’ll pass

[Socialists for Musk @thedarkprowler]

Busting after I hit on 15 and then just holding my head underwater until I pass out and drown

[a.🫧 @xcowboygeniusx]

my pussy safe asf

[HARD FACTOR @HardFactorNews]

What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information????

[saying "yes, master" to the GPS @GarlicCorgi]

He looks like the fish from spongebob