Will Distl

For once, I want someone to call me 'sir' without adding 'you're making a scene' - H. J. S.

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

It may have taken 5 years and my car may have broken down on the way to graduation BUT BY GOD I MADE IT

[elliott @essbeestan]

Sarah Beth fans pls stream Wota Boy! on Spotify why am I literally the only one doing it #BB26 #BB23

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@PeachieBottoms Because the necessary meth production would offset the cost

[FOX Sports: MLB @MLBONFOX]

HE DID IT!!!

Albert Pujols is the 4th player in Major League history to hit 700 Home Runs!

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

Me showing up late to work everyday in June

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@givesyouhellie That would be my villain origin story

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo

[Natasha ❀ @ndelriego]

This thread will be dedicated to the victims of the mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas.

As a parent, my heart is broken seeing these faces and their ages.

My condolences to their families during this difficult time 🙏🏻

Xavier Lopez, 10. He was a 4th grader at Robb Elementary.

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo @PeachieBottoms I rolled my eyes when I saw that in Target today. I should've known.

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo I saw him at Bread Co in Rolla once while he was meeting with someone from the school and I thoroughly regret not booing him

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

I'm teaching fourth grade junior achievement (not sure why they let me do that) and after saying Yes Queen under my breath, a bunch of kids started screaming YAS QUEEN at each other. This is the gay agenda

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

Couldn't stop laughing at the pool today when a KU frat star was flirting with a girl and excitedly told her "you've been alive for 3 KU championships!!!"

I am so happy to not be straight

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@keatondegraeve0 @stevothedivo Hunny that would require having even just a little body hair

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo You would think Eman students would be chill and understanding, but they're god-awful vultures

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo How long until you get banned again

[ESPN @espn]

Breaking: Albert Pujols is signing a one-year, major league deal to return to the St. Louis Cardinals, sources confirmed to ESPN. The news was first reported by the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and The Athletic.

Over 10 years later, The Machine is once again a Cardinal.

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

Today is finally my day to shine at work - instead of faking my way through every sports conversation, I get to thoroughly discussed the intimate details of Jada & Will Smith's lives

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo Okay but I fucking slayed my toga @louiebrt knows

[Will Distl @froodsbag]

@stevothedivo Couldn't even make it 10 days