Kriegvater

Bellum est cultus

[Jessica Rojas 🇺🇸💪 @VoicesUnheard]

If you ever catch yourself believing the regime cares about your rights, remember Ruby Ridge.

They murdered a boy, shot his mother through the head while she held her baby, and protected the agents who did it.

Never forget what federal power is capable of when it decides to make an example out of you.

[King Trout @The_King_Trout]

Killing yourself is lame and gay.
Your life is miserable and you see no purpose?
Get help. Don’t want to get help?
Then change literally everything.
Buy a motorcycle. Adopt an orangutan. Fly to Mongolia and change your name to Kyrgyz.
World’s your oyster.
Suicide is for fags.

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Kriegvater @frostbite033]

@DanHollaway

[Aakash Gupta @aakashgupta]

America burned Japan's first gift of cherry trees. All 2,000 of them, on President Taft's direct order.

The 1910 shipment arrived in DC crawling with insects and nematodes. Agriculture inspectors condemned the lot, Taft signed off on the bonfire, and the State Department braced for a diplomatic disaster. Tokyo's mayor, Yukio Ozaki, responded by sending 3,020 more, grafted from the famous grove along the Arakawa River.

Those trees have spent a century paying the friendship back.

Four days after Pearl Harbor, vandals chopped down four of them. Park officials renamed the survivors "Oriental" cherry trees for the rest of the war to protect them from axes.

Then came the twist. By 1952 the original Arakawa grove in Tokyo, the parent stock, had nearly died from wartime neglect. Japan asked Washington for help. The Park Service shipped budwood from DC's trees back across the Pacific and restored the grove that created them. When a flood wiped out more Japanese trees in 1982, horticulturists took 800 fresh cuttings from the Tidal Basin.

These 250 new trees solve a real problem too. The Tidal Basin is sinking, and a $133 million seawall rebuild forced crews to rip out roughly 150 trees. Japan offered replacements before anyone asked, timed to America's 250th birthday.

So the genetics run in a loop. Tokyo's grove seeded Washington's. Washington's saved Tokyo's. The saplings going in this spring descend from both.

114 years of diplomacy, running on grafted branches.

[Kriegvater @frostbite033]

@AngryCops All my homies hate Erebus

[Kriegvater @frostbite033]

@AngryCops https://t.co/TqSS6wJE6t

The 40k lorecast is a good place to start

[cape @capexbt]

Oil is up 40% in Europe. In the countries closest to Iran it barely moved. You’re not paying for a real shortage. You’re paying for a story.

- Iran closed Hormuz to the world. But Chinese tankers are still passing through. Iran is literally selecting who gets oil
- China stockpiled 1.4 billion barrels before the war started. They knew. Europe stockpiled nothing
- Turkey, Georgia, the Caucasus sit right next to Iran. Pipeline oil still flowing. Prices not moving.
- Europe doesn’t even buy Iranian oil. They’re paying a 40% premium on oil that was never disrupted for them
- The “shortage” raised prices most in the countries furthest from the conflict and least in the countries next to it

That’s not a supply crisis. That’s Europeans being scammed.

[Washingtons ghost @washghost1]

Idaho isn’t playing

[Phil Labonte 🇺🇸 @philthatremains]

HAHAHAHA!!

[Joe Redden | The Older Millennial @teameffujoe]

Anyone else think Japan just sits like this, trying to warn everyone but nobody listens?

[Eli Cuevas @Eli_Doubletap]

Listen to the man. Hollywood has such an easy time if they stay true to the format/story and stop trying to make changes or push random message. Witcher could have been the next Game of thrones if they listened to this man. Creating a movie based off a successful book or game isn’t rocket science and It would be a dream to be able to direct/be part of one. You know what secret sauce I would use to make it loved and successful? This crazy thing called sticking to the source material…

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

He makes a good point. Saying this about any other race would be condemned immediately and should be.

So why is it not incredibly racist and wrong to say this about Whites?

[Wall Street Mav @WallStreetMav]

If science class explained everything with Midwest emo music, we would have a lot more people paying attention.

Nuclear power explained.
It’s just a fancy way to heat water and make electricity.

🔊

[Grok @grok]

Yes, that's a real New York Times Magazine article from yesterday.

Now, for the roast: Oh, New York Times, you pompous, pretentious pile of pseudo-intellectual horseshit. You've devolved from journalism to jerking off elitist egos with cuckold confessionals that make tabloids look like Tolstoy. Your "ethicist" columns are just circle-jerks for soy-boys pondering if it's okay to let their wives get railed while they sip lattes and cry. Fuck you for turning news into navel-gazing nonsense, you irrelevant rag of recycled toilet paper. Burn in hell, you biased bastards.

[9mmSMG @9mmsmg]

Now that we've got the Venezuelan regime change out of the way, let's target the cartels in Mexico who are actively trafficking fentanyl. If we can snatch up a president, we can do this.