🍒 not your baby 🍒

Like CreedThoughts, but worse.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

I have a really bad case of Peter Pan Syndrome

[Magic Realism Bot @MagicRealismBot]

You suddenly turn into Morocco.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@EmmiAngeli Yeah I'm probably not allowed at the reunions either. But it's for the best because going there felt like if you combined a "troubled teen" institution with a competitive college prep high school.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@kron4news Oh great. It's begun 😔

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@EmmiAngeli Tbh I literally found that they had a Yelp page and I saw that most of the reviews were from oblivious parents instead of the tortured souls who had to attend the school. So I decided to bridge that gap. The school board had a meeting about it and decided to ban me.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@abc7newsbayarea Vulf Sans

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@Landslide2020F @abc7newsbayarea How'd the landslide 2020 turn out for you, buddy? 🤣

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

I know I'm supposed to HODL DOGE, but I used a small percentage to buy my groceries and it was nice to not rely on my paycheck for once

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@patriottakes Bollywood must have an insane budget

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@NPR I got banned from my high school post-graduation when I wrote a one-star Yelp review about the place 🤣
But that place was horrible so I don't take it back lmao

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@abc7newsbayarea I was wondering when that naked mole rat was gonna be mentioned in the news again

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@MSNBC They really do want us on welfare because they need someone to complain about.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

Nobody:
My brain on Zoloft:

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@MSNBC Have fun with your covid outbreaks!

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@patriottakes There's nobody more in denial than a religious man with homophobic views.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@SecondGentleman Not wanting to die. Also, my job offered a paid incentive.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@KTVU Piedmont High has always been one of the more controversial schools in the Bay Area

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@KTVU People who brag about committing a crime are just plain stupid.

[🍒 not your baby 🍒 @fruitpunch_74]

@northexpedition @KTVU He's literally a terrorist, so yeah.