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cookie stand is not a part of the food court.

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Pinned tweet

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Love picking a big hard booger.

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Honestly I blame this on the Sumerian empire. Civilization was a mistake. Should have just kept roamin about eating weird berries and shit. Definetly not writing anything down.

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Googling “pasta shapes, deep cuts”

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Old ladies love me

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Doing the Travis Bickle thing over an induction stovetop.

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Is selling plasma legit? Feels too good to be true.

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@jessxcalexis I washed dishes in a pizza place when I was 16. No way in hell I would have brushed out a straw.

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Will my car become self driving when it is 16 years old?

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@reillyadam @universalhub Cheese burger at Sullivans castle island is $4.95 and is fuckin solid imo.

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Kinda fucked up they label single adult portions of chips as “Family Sized”.

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I have exercised the demon.

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I have to piss so bad it feels like it could be a threat to my health.

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@lifeasryguy Blood turning yellow as we speak

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@TradWife2049 Poopin is huge for butt havers

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@jakebrodes Stupid website is finally allowing me to watch this full video again. It still rips.

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@kdub549 As soon as it posted it I was like “wait that is way longer”

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I’m only spending 30 seconds trying to scan something at self checkout before that shit goes right into the bag.

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Wanna say what’s up to judge Judy’s stenographer.

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@josiahhughes @oldfriend99 Elon confirmed straight edge

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I’m gonna get lip filler.