adult you

[alexa losey @alexalosey]

a true friend facetimes a concert you can't go to for you

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: Wt dz fkng a woman and cooking an egg in the microwave hv in common?
A: Both end with a loud, annoying sound and a gooey mess to cleanup.

[adult you @fuckdose]

What does it mean when a man isin your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

[adult you @fuckdose]

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak

[adult you @fuckdose]

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long."
Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q.Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother! Hahaha

[adult you @fuckdose]

Have you noticed that more and more women are having their navel's pierced?That's because its a handy place to hang the air freshener.

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: Why are pubic hairs so curly?
A: So they don't poke out your eyes.

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: Three words to ruin a man's ego...?
A: "Is it in?"

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me im going in! Hahaha

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: How do you know if you have a high sperm count ?
A: If she has to chew before she can swallow.

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: Why do women like to have sexwith the lights off?
A: They can't stand to see a man have a good time! :*

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: When is a man most intelligent,before, after or during sex?
A: During sex cuz he's plugged upto the knowledge source=:)

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common?
A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!

[adult you @fuckdose]

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!