Fuckistry™

Don't Overreact.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

Welcome to a generation where teenagers protect their phones, instead of their penises.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

People that have swag give me hope for the apocalypse.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

So when Lil Wayne says "fuck these niggas" in his album he wins a Grammy. But when I do it, I get kicked out my son's basketball game.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

#2ThingsThatDontMix babies and sulfuric acid.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

A long time ago, some brilliant motherfuckers were like “Let’s have women press their tits against us for no reason. We’ll call it hugging.”

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

I knew you were trouble when you walked in so I cut your legs off.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

I think the worst way to die is by getting your genitals chopped off and bleeding to death.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

When I'm bored, I eat and not give a fuck about anything.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

REPORT: Taylor Swift already writing a song about the breakup of the #RussianMeteor

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

I don't give two fucks about Valentines Day.

[CHNL - Music TV App for Spotify @TheCHNLapp]

I already know what I'm getting for Valentines Day. High.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

Valentines day is a special day. It's the day I do the same thing I do every day.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

I only care about your grammar if you're insulting me.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

Steps on how to insult someone on the Internet without looking stupid:

1. Don't.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

Sometimes, I wanna play a game with my car and the bikers on the road.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

#MajorTurnOffs when you have no more cocaine. ):

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

Apaprnelty hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmlnig snetneces.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

If you take the vowels out of FEMALE you get FML. Coincidence? I think not.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

Name your car Kindness. Then, kill people with Kindness.

[Fuckistry™ @fuckistry]

BREAKING NEWS: Swag is now a form of currency and is usable at KFC.