the pirate that doesn’t know

fart

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

what the fentanyl

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

lemme suavitel you something

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

just got cock blocked by a cricket

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

“there’s a whole untapped market out there with dick sauce” -natalie

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

greening out on the highway?

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

the other day my coworker asked me what my favorite word was and i didn’t have an answer. i’ve been thinking about this for days and this is my formal announcement my favorite word is derivative

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

greening out or crashing out? the world may never know

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

“i’m actually telekinetic and my fingers linked to your butthole” -natalie

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

@xxd4rkshr1mpxx @youcrocmeup i wouldn’t do this to you

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

@xxd4rkshr1mpxx @youcrocmeup the ignore is crazy tbh

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

ok receptionist

[natalie @xxd4rkshr1mpxx]

She fell

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

marco i’m sorry @boyGr1mez

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

i yearn for that nanosecond when you first look in the mirror where your brain has yet to recognize it as your face and you see the beauty strangers see in yourself fully for once

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

infinity is insane

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

natalie i love you

[natalie @xxd4rkshr1mpxx]

Being gullible is my only fault other than that I’m perfect

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

i need to moisturize i am practically an alligator

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

need a man that looks like superman 🙇‍♀️

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

@xxd4rkshr1mpxx from me btw

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

@xxd4rkshr1mpxx no 😔

[the pirate that doesn’t know @fuckityoumuppet]

NEW DIAGNOSIS ALERT 🚨 ‼️