jsph

𝔅𝔯𝔢🖤

[jsph @fuckjsph]

Coming home to my puppy makes my night a billion times better

[. @playboicurrryy]

saying "are our" in a sentence

[z @classigantexz]

My mom messages her late best friend’s ex husband every year on the anniversary of her death, It’s always the same simple text “3 months” Just a little reminder that he married another woman 3 months after she died of cancer n honestly I love that for her

[🦋 fairy 🧚‍♂️ @thisdecfairy]

me judging people for being addicted to their phones after my battery die:

[mollie writes stuff @vuse_lover]

Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that

[MACÈO MULAN @maceomulan]

even the dollar store got tap pay, walmart so fucking raggedy

[ཐི♡ཋྀ 𝓀𝒶𝓉 ཐི♡ཋྀ @bl00dnB0nee]

Why’d they take some poor dry ass kid’s CeraVe 😭😭💀

[Feru ✭ @ferupity]

Nigga just honked at me in a drive thru relax #fatfuck

[Milfski @Nilkski_]

I’ve never seen a family in a cybertruck. Just an ugly dude by himself.

[manic nixon dream girl @kennixonette]

squidward is an ageing conservative homosexual, probably with a catholic background. you can tell he resents spongebob for being openly femme even though he himself is a bitchy quеenу gay guy who's too bald and poorly dressed to even be charming with it.

[hk 🛸 @wyahk]

if I saw this at night I would legitimately shit myself

[naomi @lachancenaomi27]

I’ve seen this new therapist 4 times and every time we talk about my dog dying. Today I said we were looking for a new dog and she asked if I’ve had a dog before. Should I find a new therapist

[Allie ✞ @allie__voss]

I’m not a fan of tattoos but in my experience the nurse who’s so tatted she looks like she just escaped prison is exactly who you want

[🦋 fairy 🧚‍♂️ @thisdecfairy]

POV: it’s 2am you are trying to sleep but your gf decides it’s time to tell you all her family stories

[( °ヮ° ) . . . ? @Lunaz4Passion]

why do hair grow on the butthole

[fecko stinko @ladwife]

every time i listen to maneater by timbaland and nelly furtado, i think about how they got so scared by the beat in the studio that they didn’t work on it for months because they thought they were summoning the devil

[Antidepressant Content @depressionlesss]

Me on my day off not knowing whether I should sleep or make the most of life:

[･ﾟ *✧:*Kitanna*:✧*･ﾟ @h0neyginsengg]

Mexicans be like “imagine”

[𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕪 @FromN5_]

when your phone is finally charged enough so u can turn over