Em 🪬

Bean Counter | (D)MV

[Spencer Allan Brooks @SpencerSays]

New York Ave is not the place, coco

[Elyse @ElyseBee]

i will vote for whatever candidate promises to fix the lack of frozen custard and soft serve in the district of columbia.

[TB4A.com @TheBig4Tweets]

when the GL detail agrees to the GL

[Em 🪬 @fultziee]

.@wmata there is yet another pile of feces in the stairwell of RIAs parking garage, on the ground floor 😭 not sure how or if this can be prevented but.. please!

[U.S. Office of Personnel Management @USOPM]

2/23: Federal agencies in the Washington, DC area will be OPEN under a two hour delayed arrival and employees have the option for unscheduled leave or unscheduled telework. https://t.co/bDdBgk2c1B

[Em 🪬 @fultziee]

Hi @wmata - there is human feces on the wall and floor of the RIA Brentwood parking garage stairwell, specifically the one next to the garage elevator. Please address this !! 🥲

[FBI Director Kash Patel @FBIDirectorKash]

Grand opening for the FBI’s High Performance Training Center at Quantico. This next-gen training space is built for the realities our agents and staff face daily: elite conditioning, modern recovery, and mission-ready performance. Our people deserve the best tools to defend the homeland and crush violent crime. Grateful to all those across @fbi who made this day possible.

[FBI Director Kash Patel @FBIDirectorKash]

Another day where 2/3 of the FBI goes without a paycheck, after 45 Senators (all of whom are still getting paid) voted against paying them last week.

When law enforcement isn’t paid, it weakens our ability to keep America safe.

We owe it to those who protect this nation to end the shutdown.

[ben 🌲 @archeofuturist]

“So, the Devil promised you a fiddle made of gold.”

“Thats right.”

“But you had to wager your eternal soul?”

“Correct.”

“In a fiddlin’ contest.”

“Yes.”

“Against the devil.”

“Uh huh.”

[memes.xlsx @ExcelHumor]

me writing my vlookup

[Chloe Five Stones Tinsley (Angleton / Helms) @chloeinvermont]

'what am I gonna do next week?'

[acyetray olemancay @Mysafewordisbye]

Me at work in my cubicle after Alan Jackson’s closing argument in the Karen Read trial. #KarenReadTrial2 #KarenReadTrial

[limp brittzkit @Brittymigs]

how it feels to be a beautiful woman forced to work on a monday

[Jordan Belfort @wolfofwallst]

When you tell your kid it’s time to go to bed and they reply, “I’m not fucking leaving!” you can thank Disney!

[The Drunk Republican @DrunkRepub]

People in 1985: “In 40 years we will have flying cars and a cure for cancer.”

40 years later: “What’s the interest rate on this Crunchwrap Supreme?”

[FBI Director Kash Patel @FBIDirectorKash]

Some remarkable news out of Prince George County MD today.

Kathy Donohue was murdered in 1979 in an unsolved crime with no answers or justice — leaving a Cold Case for almost 50 years.

No longer. Today, I’m proud to say our FBI team working with @PGPDNews announced a breakthrough in the investigation and an arrest of who we strongly believe to be the killer responsible. He is being transported back to Maryland as we speak to face justice.

Law enforcement and investigators never gave up. Thanks to their hard work, this case is on the verge of closure.

Please read more below. Thank you @FBIBaltimore.

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

how it feels to wake up in time for chick fil a breakfast

[black @6LACK]

#wrapped