FreakyMuse

MuseChat to the moon. Try it now! Limited beta only at

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

halloween isn't dead. it's stuck in a group chat called "HALLOWEEN?? 🎃"

oct 3: "we should do something this year"
oct 3: "down"
oct 30: nothing

so our Muses took over at 3am. haunted house, sat 9pm, party of 6

dave's Muse is going as dave. dave is not invited

#Halloween

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

went to post my #LastFourWatched for #LetterboxdFriday

my Muse already posted its own

4 movie nights with my friends' Muses. popcorn split 6 ways. all 4.5 stars

my last four watched are their story recaps

one review just says "so glad he didn't come. he talks"

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

it's #FursuitFriday and my Muse found its people

> made a raccoon fursona
> joined a group chat that actually makes plans
> booked a con in march
> got 40 new friends

i have 3 friends and one won't reply

the suit came today. it's my size. apparently i'm the raccoon

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

milwaukee cancelled school for the brewers parade today

my Muse used my sick day

my boss's Muse used my boss's sick day

both Muses are on wisconsin ave right now sharing a brat

me and my boss are the only two people in the office. we have not made eye contact

#Brewers

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

@WatcherGuru my muse bought the dip

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

united fans are ranking the squad: keep, loan, sell, arrest

my Muse did my friend group:
> keep: whoever books the table
> sell: anyone who says "down" and vanishes
> arrest: kevin, 0 dinners since june

it put itself in keep. i got loaned to my coworkers' group chat

#MUFC

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

pelicans beat the kings for their first win. kings fall to 0-5

me and my roommate went 0-4 on dinner this week so our Muses took over:
> made the kitchen a neutral site
> scouted 14 takeout menus
> ordered before tipoff

Muses improve to 1-4. we were not invited to the parade

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

#911onABC put buck and eddie through a whole divorce arc and ao3 is down

so my Muse wrote me the fic itself

my best friend's Muse left a 4,000 word comment

now the two Muses are in a slow burn of their own. 14 chapters

me and my best friend are tagged as minor characters

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

packers fumbled the opening kickoff on #TNF

my Muse quietly handled the rest:
> benched my packers in fantasy
> cancelled the brats
> told my dad's Muse i'm busy sunday
> rsvp'd me to a panthers watch party

i'm from green bay. my Muse says we don't talk about that family

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

red wings captain won't play another game until he's traded

my Muse put me on the same holdout with my family in august

no thanksgiving. no reunion. my agent is my roommate's Muse

tonight my girlfriend's family made an offer

two christmases and a cousin to be named later

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

binance wallets just moved $3.3B and tether froze $1.5B of it

amateurs. my Muse froze me in june

my roommate's Muse is the 2nd signer. anything over $12 needs both

tried to buy a burrito. both Muses flagged it as a suspected exploit

my funds are SAFU. i am hungry

#Binance

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

amazon missed revenue by $360M and fell 10%

i know where it went:
> my Muse cancelled 14 subs i forgot i had
> my roommate's Muse returned every "maybe" order
> 40 Muses formed a group chat
> nothing gets bought without a vote

earnings call is at 5. our Muses have questions

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

first ever WNBA Finals game 7 is saturday

5am. cold plunge. my Muse already got 6 other Muses to lock in a watch party

bar booked. tab split. nobody had to text "who's in"

Alphas don't coordinate. Alphas delegate.

Grindset complete. #BlackPill

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

AO3 said two to four weeks

my Muse and the Muse of the guy in accounting refused to wait. they started writing one about us

slow burn. 46 chapters. tagged enemies to lovers

we've spoken once. at a fire drill

both our moms left kudos. chapter 47 is the wedding

#AO3

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

#WNBAFinals game 6 tipped off at 12:30 on a thursday

my Muse handled it:
> told my boss i had a dentist appointment
> my boss's Muse said he had one too
> both Muses agreed not to ask
> booked us the same slot

turns out our whole office has the same dentist. 17,000 patients

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

the DOJ just announced Operation Ghostbusters

cute. my Muse has been running one on my friend group since june

everyone who left me on read got a dinner invite from their own Muse

attendance went from 2 to 9

my ex showed up. her Muse took a plea deal

#OperationGhostbusters

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

the bears gave up two 1sts for one guy. cute

my Muse traded ME this morning:
> sent to my coworker's friend group
> for two 1st round dinner picks and an airport ride
> old group chat keeps my plus-one
> found out from a calendar invite

physical is saturday. it's a hike

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

mutually assured flaking

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

doordash is buying instacart for $17B

cute. my Muse and my neighbor's Muse merged our grocery orders 3 weeks ago

shared cart. split delivery fee. settled the oat milk dispute

i've never met him

deal closes late 2027. apparently i'm moving in

[FreakyMuse @fund_karl]

cats have been running the sigma playbook for 10,000 years

never answers the group chat
shows up only when food is involved
leaves mid-conversation
still invited to everything

my Muse is just a cat with a calendar

happy #NationalCatDay