fundyrulesFarewellTour

Sardine Fighter, Satire, Unserious. Nothing is true here. Don’t believe a word I say. Humor. comedy.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

The other day, on across the tracks,
I saw a man eating moldy tic tacks.
I walked to him, and then I knew,
He was a Calvinite, oh me, phew.
His bearded face, and breath of beer,
Reminded me of truths so dear,
Short hair, and long dresses,
Keep old timey folks out of messes.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

I know that Dr. Rules has no fans left on the Twitter but if there is one hand that raises, then one rafter on a bbq pit rejoices.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

The other day, on across the tracks,
I saw a man eating moldy tic tacks.
I walked to him, and then I knew,
He was a Calvinite, oh me, phew.
His bearded face, and breath of beer,
Reminded me of truths so dear,
Short hair, and long dresses,
Keep old timey folks out of messes.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

If y'all smell moldy sardine juice in Hashville today, its because of the Calvinite Convention.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Tell me those drones aint being sent by Calvinitism to stop old timey preaching from reaching trillions on Roku and I will tell you about some ocean front property in Johnson City.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

@TheLovingPastor That's a big deal requiring finding an old hollowed out stump in the hollow and a place to holler loud while hooping around.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Until Rafters are uncovered in our churches, old timeyism is dead as a doornail, regardless of how loud you shout, how fast you sprint, how far you spit, and how fervently you rebuke Schiltz.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

This needed to be said again. Retweet for a free ticket for only $99.99 to Ghost Town's Gun Slinger Revival.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

The Hickory hippies are out in numbers today

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Calvinism makes my stomach turn
Calvinitism makes my sceptic overrun the tank
Calvinitism makes my sinus smell like turnips.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

@PastorLoving I do.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Friends, though not my original account that had multiplied thousands of followers, this account was suddenly restored today. I think it means something.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

The Hickory hippies are out in numbers today

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Hi, this is Mrs. Fundy Rules. Sometimes I post on my late husband’s account but today I started a new account @Distraught12194 - in honor of our departed, but devoted, and determined darling, Dr. Fundy Rules, please help me get to 1k (millennium) followers.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Hi, this is Mrs. Fundy Rules. Thanks to my late husband’s old timey will, I was able to go grocery shopping this morning. I miss him but a lady still got to have 3 square meals a day. No sardines in this cart.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

R. I. P. old friend. You gave it your all. Enjoy that great Anon Land in the sky. No more sardines. Signed, Friends of Fundy Rules.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Brethren and Sisteren, I have not been able to revive the glory days of the original Fundy Rules. Thanks for all the memories. RIP, old Fundy Rules. You were the GOAT.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Back when hosses and hossettes were old timey, hoss.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Coming Soon: A 12 Step Program for Recovering Calvinites.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Most people in NC still don’t know the connection between rusty sardine cans, moldy broth and Calvinites. Sad. Help me get message out with feet on the ground and a hefty donation.

[fundyrulesFarewellTour @fundyrules20]

Seconds after I posted, I saw this wonderful clip. I stand corrected.

[Pastor Emeritus F. FIBber @FormerFIBber]

Who coulD dR. kidd be talking about Here?