minty dick

you know me, I love fucking up a metaphor

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

@sighswoon Virgo things. I’ve felt this my whole life as well.

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

I spiritually identify as a hooky dukey

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Noiselessly crop dusting with diarrhea farts at the clay studio..
While wearing a pair of shoes that make fart noises when I walk

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Just pooped a shit that looked almost exactly like Moo Deng

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

I’m about to be making the work that is going to be the take off of my career.
How exciting

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Boyfriend says: Happy Birthday I posted not the cutest pictures of you ! Love you ! I mean you look cute but not as cute as you areeee !

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Not me hiding my story from my boyfriends parents (prob for a hottie pic), forgetting for almost a year, and me wondering if maybe they r a lil mad at me for some unknown reason

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

My version of self harm is buying myself very nice jewelry

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

I’ve thought about it a lot,
I think the most polite way to tell someone they have had BO everyday since you’ve met them(awhile ago)
is by sending a note with cutout magazine letters to disguise its from you

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

It’s the allegedly FaceTuned picture of Khloe Kardashians cat

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

#NewProfilePic if you know this deep cut, say it with me

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

If you saw me touch my vagina to see if I was bleeding out no you didn’t

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Thank god I grew up in the years of ‘cringe’ discord and therefore was afforded to participate and observe the collective attention towards the strange and all it’s corridors
💌 my current expression of that experience brought a learned freedom I’m so thankful for, 4 me and 4 u!

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Just got my period
The 95 degree weather is like my heating pad

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

I love it when my demographic (people who smile at strangers) stop their car to let me walk the crosswalk

Thank god for community

[Aurora Green (she/her) @auroraegreen]

https://t.co/OTD94KxlBP
Please consider donating and reposting! Every little bit adds up ❤️

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Ok if you know my twitter, and are at the function tonight… I’m sorry to tell u I am full of gas
Don’t tell anyone 🐍

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

My toxic trait is that I swerve to hit garbage in the road to hear it go crunch

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

Why aren’t more people crying in their cars

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

I kinda don’t like cursing.. it’s bad!!

[minty dick @funeralturkey]

@DrIndyEinstein I wanna name my baby Swan