stinky ‘,:)

i’m secretly three rats

[FKA Morena / Brianna @fkamorena]

this was jesus basically

[kendall @filmbitten]

i don’t care what happens you will never catch me saying “graped” or “unalived” i have read 1984 lol language has power. replace a letter with a number/symbol if you need, but creating new words like that waters down their meaning and makes these issues seem lighter than they are

[merton ♨️ @mertonesque]

bro last night was a movie but you were depicted as a CGI monkey for some reason

[😈 @turtlekiosk]

wait fuck

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

damn you remove some ppl from your life and all of a sudden your stomach stops hurting

[໊ @user0000O0]

men be like “i didn’t do anything to her” bro all she does is take pics of trees now

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

now that it’s getting warmer i can finally start dressin

[jp @excesstential]

how it feels to go on a little walk after being on your phone all day

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

Aliens (completely bewildered) so the groundhog

Me: is clairvoyant, yes

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

┏━━┓┏━━┓┏━━┓┏┓┏┓
┗━┓┃┃┏┓┃┗━┓┃┃┃┃┃
┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃
i have got to eat more soup
┃┏━┛┃┃┃┃┃┏━┛┗━┓┃
┃┗━┓┃┗┛┃┃┗━┓ ┃┃
┗━━┛┗━━┛┗━━┛ ┗┛

[jos @josiahhughes]

i just checked the santa tracker and it says he’s currently ovulating

[J*ckie @jackie__sabbagh]

just looked at the moon and instinctively said aloud “big ass moon” and I feel like I get dogs with the whole howling thing

[︎ ︎ ︎ ،،̲ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ HELL'S ︎ ︎ ︎ ꒷꒦ ︎ ︎ BELLS. @devouringink]

i don't need to flirt i get bitches with my autism, very severe trauma and my tiny waist

[Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation @OKWildlifeDept]

(touring the pyramids)

wow i didn't know they had so many bass pros in ancient Egypt

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

god gives his toughest battles (stomach hurting) to his strongest soldiers (me)

[trash jones @jzux]

hey sorry i missed your text i realized i’m going to have to keep responding to texts for the rest of my life and i got really tired

[AskAubry 🦋 🐆🦝 @ask_aubry]

Dudes: why didn't you fight back? Also dudes: you fought back too hard! 🙄