galaxy brain surgeon

what if twitter but on the planet earth

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

me reading anything at all ever:

[nathan fielder @nathanfielder]

Just sittin' here being all cute!

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

double feature of may december and you can see everything

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

the acoustics in my echo chamber are superb

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

new fave director cameo

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

god is once again telling me to put forks and spoons in the microwave

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

crj fans finding themselves at the tour kick-off in edmonton

[Carly Rae Jepsen @carlyraejepsen]

WE GO HARD IN THIS FAMILY! Can’t wait to see you all this Spring for the Day and Night Tour 2027!

Sign up now for the fan presale happening on Tuesday, 10/6 at 10am local at https://t.co/vsSXjFshge 
Presale sign up closes: Sun, Oct 4 at 11pm ET

Tickets on sale Thursday, 10/8 at 10am local. See you there!!!

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

tried playing lucifer - ag cook but my friend had it blocked by the christian version of spotify….. sittin over here with FOMO. my regular ass spotify version 🫤

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

onion rings redeemed with points just taste better. did you know that? kinda obvious…

[Perfume Genius @perfumegenius]

A lot of very serious people on Twitter. It’s giving nerd

[Perfume Genius @perfumegenius]

Help! Just kidding

[Dahn.K @EKabanda]

The person who stole my shoes yesterday while i was on a bouncing castle at the mall please grow up

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

do you think more men are going to the lesbian covid conscious bar now? seeing what all the fuss is about for that death trap

[Mitya @Discollaborator]

Tried to buy some bread and the store lady wouldn't let me. Said I "didn't seem that hungry". I didn't seem "excited enough" about the bread. Came back the next day with a big smile on my face. Guy at the register wouldn't sell it to me. Said I looked too excited about the bread.

[#1 Space Jam 2 Lover 🎃 @JoshuaTookes]

Goodnight

[galaxy brain surgeon @funkythief]

me right before being asked by the dental hygienist to never return

[ninajirachi @ninajirachi]

i like that feeling of your hand in my mouth

[National Geographic @NatGeo]

New cat alert! A call from a wildlife sanctuary about a "weird cat" has led to the first new cat species discovered in over 100 years in Bolivia’s Yungas forest ecoregion. Learn more about this feline surprise: https://t.co/crffXvPqH4

[Rory McCarthy @roryisconfused]

[hitting several pedestrians with a car]
🎶 golden rod and the 4-H stone
The things I brought you when I found out you had cancer of the bone 🎶