Swagat S. Das

random shitposting + daily games

[pH @pHequals7]

2026: how i learnt my masala dosa depends on the strait of hormuz

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@MansiMadhushree Us

[Gwart @GwartyGwart]

Flight attendant comes over intercom: “your flight is oversold, I need two volunteers to take a flight this afternoon for a $300 voucher.”

I spring into action. I was born for these moments. This is why I studied game theory. Literal tingles. I pull out my megaphone and address our boarding gate: “guys, they absolutely must off board at least two passengers or this bird isn’t taking off. Every 3 minutes they will increase their bid by $200. If we all hold out for 45 more minutes, 2 of us can make nearly 5 grand each. Textbook prisoners dilemma, this is (3,3) in its most visceral representation. I’m not even going to give up my ticket but I know value when I see value. Let’s make Nash proud ladies and gentlemen. Do not acquiesce. Do not defect.”

Anyhow 2 people immediately accepted $500 and I called them retards on my megaphone and was placed in a detention room by airport police. This is why we study game theory.

[Dr. S. Jaishankar @DrSJaishankar]

My acceptance remarks on conferment of Honorary Doctorate by @IIM_Calcutta.
https://t.co/pXIPyGI4g7

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@ShachiGambhir @RaoSumukh Congratulations @ShachiGambhir @RaoSumukh ❤️❤️

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@MansiMadhushree @snehaxdesign Shine on you crazy diamond

[KNOWLEDGE WORM 🐛 @Knowledge_worm]

@historyinmemes AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE AND REALIZE THERE’S NOTHING LEFT

RIP Coolio.

Shout out to Michelle Pfeiffer lmao

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@AkshayaS90 Yes, you can get anything and everything pirated..

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@MansiMadhushree

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@MansiMadhushree

[peeleraja @peeleraja]

Telugu imposition will solve most of India's problems. Let me explain.

1. Hindi and Urdu are basically same, which is why it is so easy for Pakistan to spy on us. But Telugu will never come naturally to a Pakistani. ISI eliminated.

2. Telugu is the language of US Second Lady Usha Chilukuri. Closer US-India ties.

3. We can harness the soft power of Bay Area Telugu Association (BATA) and Telugu Association of North America (TANA) to dominate Trump in the US.

4. About half of all IITians already speak Telugu. So does the IT industry. Telugu is the language of high tech.

5. Telugu movie RRR has beaten Bollywood in Oscars. Telugu imposition means more Oscars for India.

6. Telugu food best food. Muddu Pappu should be our national dish.

7. The language of Chilukur Balaji aka Visa Balaji temple is Telugu. Telugu imposition = faster visas for all Indians.

8. Satya Nadella is Telugu. Telugu imposition means cheaper Microsoft Office and Azure for all.

[Ferrari News 🐎 @FanaticsFerrari]

One of F1’s brightest talents in the 2000s.

Linked with a move to Ferrari.

Suffers life-threatening crash at a minor rally event in 2011, partially severing his arm.

Comeback to F1 in 2019.

WINS LE MANS WITH A FERRARI IN 2025.

Robert Kubica 🇵🇱🐎

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@ZeptoNow @zeptocares scammy dark pattern spotted.

Sneakily they have added 42rs in item handling cost which isn't even visible in final cost breakdown..

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@MansiMadhushree 😭😭

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

A very pleasant experience in baggage drop and check in at @BLRAirport.

I'd like to extend my sincere gratitude to Sharan from @AirIndiaX who assisted me today. His exceptional helpfulness and cooperative demeanor truly made a difference in my travel experience.

[Akshaya @AkshayaS90]

You may think my main problem is that the Astrotalk ad is shown to me repeatedly across streaming platforms.
But my real problem is that the lady baba says she is answering Payal while the screenshot of the chat on the side actually shows the question is from Himanshi.

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

Sir justifying his degrees

[Swagat S. Das @funnyfatguy_]

@MansiMadhushree ab toh joka mei frontbencher banke hi ayegi😞