LANDO SHEPARD

With all the B.S I've gone through the only thing I can do is laugh. Lets chuckle together.

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Trump running for president after the Feds raid his house is stuff rappers talk about in their songs; but he really doing it! #zerofucks

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

I know Aunt Jemima. I don't Pearl Milling Company!!

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

I take back everything I said about Yellowstone. I still don't like it, it's just time to say some new shxt! #istillwatch #YellowstoneTV #itllneverbeDallas

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Duluth makes the best underwear ever!!

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Ex tweeter employee, now my Uber driver is really getting on nerves....

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

With baseball season over, no more women's figure skating, guess the only thing to watch on TV is The Vow. #TheVowHBO

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

@stevenafarmer How often do you say "recently" tho?😊

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Defund to police was popular until "ass whoopings" went up because of the response time...

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Damn Kyrie...just open a BBQ stand bro.

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Damn the meteorologist, my dog is the best weather man I know!!

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

My album will be called "You can learn alot from a dope fiend!"

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

People are complaining about having alot of left over candy from Halloween. Most of those people are same one's that dont want to have children....#RoeVsWade

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Walking in a room full of people ready to laugh and all i can think about is the $45 im being paid. After expenses im -$17.43 Wow, the life of an open micer....

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Jimmy Carter is still alive...

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Doing open mics makes love my day job more and more. May hug my boss tomorrow...

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Telling a comic a joke in hope they will laugh is like having sex with a prostitute in hope they will climax...

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Voting is like going to grocery store. Go in for 1 thing, come out with stuff I no idea why I bought it, or in this case, asking myself why did I vote for that....?

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

Claiming to be in therapy doesn't excuse the behavior

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

This is a show where you're "allowed" to tell another comics jokes. #thevelveetaroom #atxcomedy #standupcomedy

[LANDO SHEPARD @funnymanshep]

@whitecotton Spooky!!